Post Punk Kitchen Forum

I didn't know that about adoption in the UK.

My youngest sister is mixed race (1/2 black, 1/2 white), and apparently in the area where I live it is difficult to find families for those kids. My family went through the whole process, home study etc. to adopt two older mixed race siblings (aged 4 and 6) but it fell through due to the bio father not wanting them to be adopted. The adoption agency we were using actually called us a few months later and asked if we would be interested in an infant, because they knew we weren't opposed to adopting a mixed race child. There are people on years-long waiting lists in this area to adopt an infant, but no one wanted her, I guess because they wanted the baby to look like them? I guess I can understand that, but it seems so sad to me that people would wait for a baby who has the same skin color as them, while healthy babies are being born who no one wants.

I have heard about this (and can totally get behind it) and it would be great if it becomes a lot easier to adopt outside of your race here, but I'm not holding my breath.

Before all this went down, my MIL (in an unusually helpful moment) told me it really depends on the local authority and that some are way better about it than others.



I agree! Skin colour isn't really an issue for us, so I thought it would be like a bonus that non-white kids were easier to adopt (except that they aren't if you're white). Like, hey, we don't have to go on a waiting list! Bonus day at Boscov's!
(Just to be clear, I want to adopt because I think it would be nice to give a kid a home and family and I would love lots of kids. Going on a waiting list means there are enough families out there wanting kids and since I can get pregnant, I don't feel the need to cock-block other families who want to adopt.)

Hi guys (and thank-you!).

PugMom: I wish you best of luck and success with your donor insemination plans! I have a good friend in a similar situation (35, unmarried, ready to be a mom anyway) going through the motions right now, and shopping for sperm. I'm sending good vibes your way!

Initial consultation on the 25th.

Good luck! So exciting!

WHEEEE!!! EXCITING!

I never realized before how looooong the time between ovulation and a missed period is before. I'm driving myself crazy.

I swear, I ate so much chocolate during those days, Pinko! How long before you can test?

I just went to the doc on Tuesday with a suspected very early miscarriage (about 6 weeks). I did a test but the line was so faint, that I'm not really sure it was there. I'd planned to do another one, but then Aunt Flo came that day. There was some weirdness with the bleeding and a super insane nearly call K home from work headache on the first day too. It's been a very weird few days. I only just talked with my husband tonight..wasn't sure what to say, as I was trying to work out what I felt myself. I'm a little bit sad, but not too much. Not sure whether to hope that this is just some sort of weird post-partum thing and not a zygote at all, or to be glad that I can possibly still make a kidlet, or what. This experience, while not heart-rending has really awakened two strong feelings: that I *really* want to have another child, and that I don't want him just yet. Freya still mostly sleeps like she's possessed by Satan, but she is the most awesome kid ever. I *love* that I can tend to her, mostly unfettered. I don't want to miss anything!

How is it looking Pinko?

Wow. So much information. A bit overwhelming and totally doable.

I lost my job about a week or so ago but already have 3 leads so I am pretty sure in the next month I will have a even better job than before. *knock on wood*

I am going to be super vigilant with the charting this next month. A progesterone test 7-8 days after my next positive test for ovulation. If I am not ovulating a scrip of Clomid and then the next month a ITI. Then we see what happens. I am not thinking farther than that because otherwise I get overwhelmed.

Exciting PugMom!

I missed your post early refennij. Hugs to you! Take care of yourself right now and love on that little Freya as much as you can. It is so amazing me to how everyday with these little people brings new changes and how you don't want to miss a thing.

hugs to you, nnej, that sounds really difficult.

Forgive me for not reading back... anyone have any success charting temps/cm with PCOS? I'm wondering if I should bother.

Good luck, pug mom!
My partner and I will hopefully be on that road soon. We're waiting to find out if her good friend will go ahead and be our baby daddy--with a somewhat coparenting situation, but he will have to surrender parental rights for me to adopt, since you can't have three legal parents.
Family law is so behind how people live. The adoption rules in the UK, huh. What do they do with blended families? I'm white, partner is black, foster kids black/latino/Indian. Wondering how they would figure same race for us.
If friend says no, we're going to sperm bank. Researching it now so that we have it all lined up, so no matter what he says, we can start in the summer.

edit to add she'll be carrying, not me.

I'm sorry refinnnej, hugs to you.

Thanks for the kind words. It's a bit meh, but I'm not too down about it or anything...mostly just feels weird.

@ah, I never had luck with temps with PCO (which I didn't even know I had when I started). They were just all over the place. I took Metformin after some time, and it worked great for ovulation, but by then I'd stopped charting temps and was looking at cervical position/fluid and was able to tell from that w/o the temp. I think it's definitely worth doing it for a couple of months, just to see though. I did it for about 8 or 9 months, until we went on holiday and then I thought "yeah, 'nuff of that".

I was supposed to be 6 weeks today, but I'm in the middle of another miscarriage. That's two in a row. Maybe one healthy child is all I'm entitled to and I should just quit while I'm ahead.

I am so sorry Mittenmacher. That sounds so hard, and I wish I could support you with a hug or some tea. Sending you lots of good thoughts <3

Oh, that forking stinks. I'd keep trying if I were you. My cousin has had at least 3 miscarriages (one at 21 weeks) and is pregnant again with her 5th. A LOT of pregnancies end before 8 weeks, I wouldn't be too concerned just yet!

I'm so sorry Mittenmacher!

Oh mitten, I'm so so sorry. Please let me know if there's anything I can do for you. Ezra and I would love to bring you cookies and tea, or anything else you might need. I'm thinking of you.

So sorry MItten. I hope you're on the mend soon.

We actually wanted for me to be pregnant with our second right now, but there was a tiny window (before husband left, after the point where there would be danger of a baby born before the end of deployment) and he went to sea both months like 5 days before I ovulated and came back afterwards. I don't have fertility problems (that I know of) but just working the timing out so that he's around for the baby's birth and to conceive the baby is turning out to be pretty tough! I feel like I'm being defeated by the Navy.

I'm so sorry, mitten. I hope you let flavabean bring you cookies and take care of you.

Oh, mitten. How very rough. Take care of yourself.

Oh, mitten. Love to you.

*hugs to you mitten*