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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 8:54 am 
Chip Strong
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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 10:28 am 
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It was gooooooood a'livin' with you wawaoowwww!

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 10:29 am 
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I don't think that the age thing matters. I do think that you should not be working for him if you are going to date him. Do any of your co-workers know? That could cause a hullabaloo...

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 10:31 am 
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My last day is in a week. None of them know yet. We're going to wait until I've been out of there for a bit before the big reveal. I think that as long as I'm not working there, most of them won't care, except maybe one of my friends who doesn't get along with him.

What's weird is that before him, I would never have considered dating anyone more than 5 years older than me. I didn't understand what anyone much older would have in common with me. Boy was I wrong.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 2:51 pm 
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last night i had my guy over and as we were falling asleep, i wanted to say that giant "L" word, but then i stopped myself bc i thought that i'd be speaking too soon, without thinking things through. and then same thing almost happened when we were getting up this morning.... was it just because it was a very comfortable situation and it was that comfort i was embracing so i wanted to say that word? i mean, we've only been seeing each other since november. i guess i'm just not sure if my feelings are real or how those real feelings come about or if anything changes once those feelings are shared. so many questions! feelings!


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 3:05 pm 
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Since November? That's 4 months. That's a long time, at least to me. I think it is worth thinking it through before blurting it out though. Good luck! It's kind of exciting.


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 3:18 pm 
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Shoot, I've never waited 4 months to say the L word! I usually blurt it out within the first month. I'm already struggling with not saying it to Older Man, but I have a feeling that it would be kind of disastrous this early (3 weeks, haha). I'm pretty sure he's feeling the same things as me (or maybe more), but we've both just had such shiitake relationships in the past that I don't think we want to jinx it by defining it and using that word. At least, that's what I'm thinking. I'm going to try my guts out to wait until he says it first, or at least a couple of months go by. But I feel so happy and excited by what we have! I want to shout it from the rooftops! I feel it so hard, that when I'm with him, I feel like I'm keeping a secret from him by not telling him how much I L him! Gotta keep my cool, though.

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But if one were to tickle Pluto, I suspect that it might very quietly laugh. - pandacookie

55k usd is like 4 cad or whatever equivalent in beavers you use on the island - joshua


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 3:20 pm 
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I blurted it out after two weeks, it was insane (I've never done that so soon!). He was shocked, then let it slip two weeks later.. I graciously pretended I didn't hear it.. the next night he blurted it out too loudly for me to ignore, then pretty much slapped his hand over his mouth shocked at himself. It's been 4 months now and we adore each other & reckon we'll move in together when the time is right, I think there's a good chance I'll marry this man some day, he thinks the same. When it's right, it's right. Good luck!

He's too friggin cute, made me videos of himself freezing his boots with a fire extinguisher today, buck eejit!


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 3:26 pm 
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I've been seeing my guy since Nov as well and I'm struggling not to let it slip out! I think he feels the same way and ya I've never waited this long to say it and I've never said it first so it's weird. Maybe I'll be brave and say it! Scary.


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 3:33 pm 
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The guy I dated before my husband told me after less than a month of dating and I didn't know what to say because I wasn't sure. He told me he wouldn't say it again until I told him. I think a few weeks later I thought about it and then told him.

With my husband, it is complicated but we both said it basically after our first date. Granted at that point we had been talking on the phone for hours for about a month.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 3:48 pm 
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I've been dating my guy since Nov too and said it to him 2 weeks ago. He whispered it back to me a couple nights later while we were sleeping. I say if you're feeling it dont hold back!


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 3:49 pm 
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fezza wrote:
I blurted it out after two weeks, it was insane (I've never done that so soon!). He was shocked, then let it slip two weeks later.. I graciously pretended I didn't hear it.. the next night he blurted it out too loudly for me to ignore, then pretty much slapped his hand over his mouth shocked at himself. It's been 4 months now and we adore each other & reckon we'll move in together when the time is right, I think there's a good chance I'll marry this man some day, he thinks the same. When it's right, it's right. Good luck!

He's too friggin cute, made me videos of himself freezing his boots with a fire extinguisher today, buck eejit!

<3

That is so adoraballz, Fezza.

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Dessert is currently a big bowl of sanctimonious, passive aggressive vegan enduced boak. Fezza
You people are way less funny than Pandacookie. Sucks to be you.-interrobang?!


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 4:16 pm 
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Oh man. Meggs knows the whole sordid story of me telling biker boy I loved him and then waiting a loooong time to hear it back. After the second big tearful emotional scene, though, I knew he did even though he couldn't say it at the time. That made waiting easier, but it was pretty sucky there for awhile. I had never been the first to say it and I basically scared the shiitake out of him. Also, he and I define "in love" differently; he doesn't trust his feelings the way I do, so for him it's as much a plan for the future as anything else. He had to know that he was comfortable with the idea of what it implied for him (moving in together, marriage...) first. Not that I think he's ready for either of those things, and moving in together will probably be our next big emotional scene. I want him to initiate the conversation because of my history of getting out in front of things and scaring him, but I will probably break at some point before too long! We have discussed it, but mostly in the abstract versus starting to make a plan.

Edit to add: it's probably just as well that he's not impulsive. I'd have married him when we went to Vegas 5 months in if he'd been impulsive enough to suggest it.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 4:27 pm 
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Vantine wrote:
fezza wrote:
I blurted it out after two weeks, it was insane (I've never done that so soon!). He was shocked, then let it slip two weeks later.. I graciously pretended I didn't hear it.. the next night he blurted it out too loudly for me to ignore, then pretty much slapped his hand over his mouth shocked at himself. It's been 4 months now and we adore each other & reckon we'll move in together when the time is right, I think there's a good chance I'll marry this man some day, he thinks the same. When it's right, it's right. Good luck!

He's too friggin cute, made me videos of himself freezing his boots with a fire extinguisher today, buck eejit!

<3

That is so adoraballz, Fezza.


+1 <3yummy

The current bf and I waited about 4 months (said it in December, had been dating since August), but I was bursting to say it for a while before but was worried about pushing too much.

Now we're looking for a place together and I am almost 100% confident that he is the man I'll marry. It is a weird sensation to be certain about this so early on, but I've never felt this good in a relationship. It's so absurdly EASY. It has been like a dream pretty much from day one (and don't I feel silly that I only even went on a date with him to get my friend off my case!). He has apparently made similar comments to friends. Hell, we've made similar comments to each other.

It's a glorious feeling.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 4:39 pm 
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I bit my tongue bigtime with my current boyfriend. Like some of the others above, I really didn't want to blurt it out and scare him by being a total crazypants. Then, he said it accidentally after about a month, and I told him I'd forget I'd heard it if he wanted or if he felt like it was too soon. He said, "No, I meant it. I just hadn't said it." Now he says it every day when one of us leaves the other one. It makes me really happy.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 4:40 pm 
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Aw. When Brian told me he loved me the first time, I ran inside my house and closed the door. I think I might've said something stupid first. 99% sure I did.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 5:25 pm 
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mrsbadmouth wrote:
Aw. When Brian told me he loved me the first time, I ran inside my house and closed the door. I think I might've said something stupid first. 99% sure I did.



I have, at least twice, said "thank you" to people who have said it to me first. Twice! Holy crepe I'm an asparagus! But I freak! I'm really cautious.

I actually said it first with my current gf! Although, it MIGHT have been her handwriting in chalk in the bathroom @ the bar that said "I love somebody" that got me to thinking about being ready to say it. I'm still not sure, never asked that.

That was early December, I didn't say it til late December. Well, I guess I said "I love you" first, but she did say "what, love?" but if I was in Ireland, that wouldn't be no thing, right?

Anyway, I guess with current gf, our first date was the end of July, but we didn't really go on another date til the end of Sept when I was a little bit more ready for the dating thing (not at allllll ready that first date, but we texted off and on for 2 months, she almost wrote me off and then I contacted her again; she's 2 hours away so being a bit more casual is tricky). So, if I count from that second date it was only like 2.5 months later, which is actually pretty fast, especially for me! I fell pretty head over heels, having that same "omg what's happening" feeling like Allular is having, like could this even be real?

Of course that giddiness from a few months ago is kinda gone because she has been going through so much job stress lately that her heart has felt a bit closed off (i know, its woo, but whatever, love is half woo, half chemistry/hormones anyway) so I have been far less giddy lately. I'm being patient even if it sucks, because I am a bit of an empath so I have a hard time not being affected by other people's moods so I need to be with even keel people, and she was so even keel til this job thing escalated to poopy levels. Ooof. But I will let it play out, because she recognizes that it affects me and is working on helping me to identify that it is not me causing the problems and what I need to not be so empathic over stuffs like this. Also, I was really excited to be dating someone older, first time I've not dated someone in their 20s, and now I think maybe this job stress thing could be exasperated by possible perimenopause or something. Is 42 too young for that?

She has in interview tomorrow. I hope she nails it!

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 6:42 pm 
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My mom went through menopause in her early 40s. It was terrible, because I was in high school at the time and we were both emotional bisques for a couple years straight. I feel sorry for my dad. I hope that her stress levels lower soon, lycophyte. I understand what you mean about being affected by other people's emotions. I can't be around miserable people, because it brings me down so much. I just want everyone to be even keel/happy!

Heading over to Older Man's house in a few minutes. He is making me dinner and I'm going to help him sort through clothes that he needs to donate to Goodwill. Stupidly excited about it, and only partly because I'm so hungry.

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But if one were to tickle Pluto, I suspect that it might very quietly laugh. - pandacookie

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 11:37 pm 
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allularpunk wrote:
It was gooooooood a'livin' with you wawaoowwww!


UHHWAAUHHWAAOH WAFFLES.

Seriously though, that's totally my karaoke song :D Though I feel like their later stuff is much better than anything on that album. How Does Your Garden Grow? is one of the CDs that gets played in my car alllllll the time. I'm actually working on a cover of "Live Again" right now!

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 12:18 am 
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Hubby and I said the L word before we were technically dating. I screwed up the sequence. First comes sex, then comes love, then comes dating? Worked for us!

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 12:37 am 
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Solipsistnation dropped the L bomb first, maybe a month in? Month and a half? I think I said "no, you don't" or something really charming like that.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 1:01 am 
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I blurted it out when we were kinda fighting and I was thinking about breaking up.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 11:41 am 
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I had this thread on my mind last night during hangouts and then had a dream that he told me he loved me! It's funny, every time we sleep together, I have dreams about him all night. This is too good. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, but am hoping it does not and that we can enjoy each other for a long, long time.

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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 12:11 pm 
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Just remembered that I asked him last night about his stance on life on other planets and he started saying a bunch of stuff that were the EXACT SAME WORDS I have used to express my own stance on this. (that, duh, there is life on other planets, this is an infinite universe with bajillions of other solar systems and to insinuate that we are the ONLY ones is pretty arrogant and that also surely there could be non-carbon based life forms that don't need just what we need to live, so there not being water or oxygen or whatever on a planet doesn't prove that there isn't some form of life.) I just started shouting 'YES! YES!' and then apologized for shouting, but that I just completely agreed with him and he was like, 'You're not shouting, you're just passionate!' omfg, this dude.

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But if one were to tickle Pluto, I suspect that it might very quietly laugh. - pandacookie

55k usd is like 4 cad or whatever equivalent in beavers you use on the island - joshua


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 Post subject: Re: Relationship advice, decisions, smiles or tears
PostPosted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 12:13 pm 
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^You sound so happy allular and it's a lovely thing. I hope no one's harshing your vibe anymore!!! <3

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