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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 6:24 am 
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couroupita wrote:
what the fizzle did I just read.

That is my exact response to that link!

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 6:37 am 
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Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
A friend of mine was just telling me about something he witnessed, two drunk men (in the middle of the afternoon) ogling a woman walking by and saying "yeah, that's good, that's nice... she got those saddlebags though, gotta work on that." My friend was like hey drunk shitbags, maybe you gotta work on your own stuff.


I've been at tables where men (not drunk) are dissing super models as being too fat/unattractive/old for them.

Its so sad that men think they have the right to comment on any woman's bodies and that physical 'flaws' (which are really just deviations from an incredibly unrealistic standard (even supermodels don't look like their pictures, because they are so photoshopped) disqualify women from being loved.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 6:49 am 
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The university where my partner teaches. (Please note that this is also a campus on which it is "traditional" for female students who attend certain frat parties to be weighed upon arrival. Yes, you read that correctly. I'm sure Jesus is very proud.)

http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/27/us/boston-college-condoms-dispute/index.html

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 9:02 am 
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http://www.ibtimes.com/steubenvilles-naacp-president-says-rape-victim-was-drunk-willing-exclusive-1149517#.UVQ_RWo0swU.twitter

I don't even have words for this. I'm almost hesitant to share it, because I know it'll peas y'all off, but I mean, wow. I don't even.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 9:19 am 
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So that is a pretty confusing article and the comments seem conflicting like "he wasn't the only one" so... I can understand someone being upset that someone is being specifically targeted because of the color of their skin and others may have not been looked into because they were white but that doesn't mean it wasn't rape.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 9:36 am 
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I probably should have read the whole article before posting it. I just couldn't get past it saying that because she liked one of the boys and was drunk that it wasn't rape.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 1:32 pm 
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Desdemona wrote:
The university where my partner teaches. (Please note that this is also a campus on which it is "traditional" for female students who attend certain frat parties to be weighed upon arrival. Yes, you read that correctly. I'm sure Jesus is very proud.)

http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/27/us/boston-college-condoms-dispute/index.html

This is so weird to me when I read these things because the college that I attended in Cambridge was completely opposite. There were bowls of condoms in the Women's Center and in the health office. Every RA and CA had condoms and boxes of the morning after pill to give to residents if needed. I also handed out condoms, lubricants, dental dams, female condoms, information, etc. We had pro-(safe) sex, bodies and relationships week where we had workshops, tables, sex toy bingo, condoms, etc. We even had a giant heart made out of condoms! And the guest speaker for the beginning of each semester is a safe sex comedian who does NOT hold back anything. Then there's a college that's all "NOPE TO CONDOMS!"

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 1:45 pm 
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This is one of those things where if you asked the people in question if they thought they were being sexist, they'd say no, but they are:

There is one other girl who works here. Architecture is a male-dominated field. Over the past few days, i've answered the phone with my spiel to be greeted with, "Is this [female co-worker's name]?" The underlying reasoning is that, obviously more than one girl can't work here! What! Overall it's bad phone etiquette to not say, "May I speak to x" and then if it's the person who answered they would say "speaking/this is s/he". My co-worker came in just as I hung up with one such person after taking a message and she told me a few people have said to her, "When you took my message yesterday..." Nevermind that we sound nothing alike.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 2:01 pm 
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Mr. Shankly wrote:
Desdemona wrote:
The university where my partner teaches. (Please note that this is also a campus on which it is "traditional" for female students who attend certain frat parties to be weighed upon arrival. Yes, you read that correctly. I'm sure Jesus is very proud.)

http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/27/us/boston-college-condoms-dispute/index.html

This is so weird to me when I read these things because the college that I attended in Cambridge was completely opposite. There were bowls of condoms in the Women's Center and in the health office. Every RA and CA had condoms and boxes of the morning after pill to give to residents if needed. I also handed out condoms, lubricants, dental dams, female condoms, information, etc. We had pro-(safe) sex, bodies and relationships week where we had workshops, tables, sex toy bingo, condoms, etc. We even had a giant heart made out of condoms! And the guest speaker for the beginning of each semester is a safe sex comedian who does NOT hold back anything. Then there's a college that's all "NOPE TO CONDOMS!"
As the administration is so fond of reminding anyone who questions their retrograde approach to, well, everything: BC is a Catholic, Jesuit institution. Ergo, the Middle Ages are barely over, and in some ways are still a happening thing. (Of course, it's also theoretically also a booze-free campus, and yet students are continually getting cited for drunkenness...go figure.)

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 2:36 pm 
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I don't know if this is even more forked up but whenever I'm brave enough to browse the poker or Harley forums, there are so many revolting sexist comments, but, especially on the Harley forum, once something applies to a "real" female, they act like normal human beings and will call each other out for being crassholes. Poker forum, lost cause, so I read strategy tips and get out because that is scary shit--like a train wreck.

Thinking about it, this is probably even more forked up that they can so easily compartmentalize women. I mean there will be a whole topic derail about horribly offensive to women things, but if anyone makes an assholish remark to a known female poster, they will get dogpiled on for being a crasshole. It's a very strange way of thinking.

So, women have a no men allowed forum over there so keep crepe out. I mean, girl biker talk is nice and obviously we have some different issues (I think we worry more about helmet hair, bike height, safety on solo road trips, and grip size, etc), but it really sucks that we need this in order to feel safe and comfortable there.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 3:38 pm 
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LW, your description of compartmentalizing women sounds exactly like people compartmentalizing animals into ones they eat and ones they don't! Interesting.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 3:41 pm 
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Huh, you are absolutely right.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 3:45 pm 
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I hate when people ask me if I've lost weight. It's always said with such enthusiasm, mostly by other women but men have done it too. I've been the same damn weight for 7 years. It's a weight that I'm pretty happy with. So yeah, thanks for making me feel like crepe and feeling like you have the right to talk to me about how my body looks. Thanks a bunch.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 3:55 pm 
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Rick Ross makes shiitake worse.

Rick Ross wrote:
There was a misunderstanding with a lyric or a misinterpretation. The term rape wasn’t used. I would never use the term rape in my records. Hip-Hop don’t condone that, the streets don’t condone that. Nobody condones that. I just want to reach out to all the queens on my timeline, the beautiful ladies that were reaching out to me…we don’t condone rape and I’m not with that.”


link below wrote:
Some of my peers have dedicated lengthy and articulate responses to the record but I’m going to keep this brief for Rick Ross’s apologists and Ross.
The issue is not the TERM “rape” or if he used the word “rape” in the song. The issue is that what he described doing, drugging a woman to have sex with her so that she “doesn’t even know it,” is RAPE. Period. And the fact that he doesn’t equate that with rape is not a misunderstanding, it is the FUNDAMENTAL issue at hand.


http://theurbandaily.com/2166762/rick-r ... pe-lyrics/

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 4:11 pm 
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Dave the Cat wrote:
LW, your description of compartmentalizing women sounds exactly like people compartmentalizing animals into ones they eat and ones they don't! Interesting.
lavawitch wrote:
Huh, you are absolutely right.
It also echoes classic bigot discourse: "I'm not racist against black/gay/Asian/Hispanic/etc. people; my friend/colleague/neighbor is black/gay/Asian/Hispanic/etc., and we get along great!"

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 5:16 pm 
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So every good friday a church goes to the hospital to parade around pictures of fetuses, and every good friday there's groups of feminists there to counter rally. This year they said they were just going to do the service in church, but some of us decided to go to the hospital anyway to show support of the hospital (like its not the abortion clinic, this is a major hospital) and to celebrate choice and then go to our women's resource centre for tea and cookies. It was fairly cold and blustery and snowing out, with weather warnings and everything, and the roads were bad, so our numbers weren't what it could be.

And they showed up! What a pack of misogynists. They'd come up to us and try to mansplain and be condescending and apparently one of the old ladies who came up to us even stalks and harasses people and the families of people she knows is prochoice. One of their kids started throwing snow balls at us. I mean good job raising your kid its okay to be physically aggressive towards people you disagree with.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 5:43 pm 
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lavawitch wrote:
Poker forum, lost cause, so I read strategy tips and get out because that is scary shit--like a train wreck.


Are you talking about 2+2? I used to post there a lot, and, yeah, it's pretty bad.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 5:55 pm 
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Yeah, where else? It is pretty toxic. Pocket Fives isn't as malicious, but it's also not as good a resource. I don't go there often any longer since I can't play Razz anywhere since Black Friday. But, hey, I guess I can get my $60 off Full Tilt at some point?

I also don't really want to give Slansky page views.

Do you still play?

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 7:02 pm 
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Sklansky is such a creep.

I barely play anymore. I played for a living for about 6 years, but then I got a real job and I like that much better. I still like playing for fun once in a while though. We should get a poker subforum going on PPK. I'll even try to learn razz.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 7:03 pm 
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Or we could just keep talking about it in the feminism thread. Everyone else would be cool with that, I bet.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 7:13 pm 
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Avocatom, you should make a thread in the living room! You might be able to find more people interested in it.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 8:47 pm 
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I'm finally fed up enough with the women I work with that I'm speaking up to them about how they let the male employees and customers treat the women. They let some of the customers hug them, flirt with them. . . I however don't and don't intend to start, but the men all think it's okay to touch me and get offended when I tell them to stop. Just 'innocent' touches, poking someone in the back when they aren't paying attention, rubbing sholders, I HATE IT. My boss is always patting me on the sholder, kind of a "there, there, little girl" motion. One of my friends said 'they don't mean anything, it's okay, just let it go.' I find it so demeaning and patronizing to be treated like girls rather than employees/clerks. Same co-worker gets all giggly and flirty when upper management (only the men of course) come into the store.

Just getting so tired of being told I'm not friendly because I don't play along. grrr
/rant


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 8:49 pm 
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Avocatom wrote:
Or we could just keep talking about it in the feminism thread. Everyone else would be cool with that, I bet.


There is certainly enough to say about it here. Women are pretty much assumed to only be good at poker because breasts. Jennifer Harman and Kathy Leiber are incessantly ragged on because they aren't hot enough, Cindy Violette is too,weird and vegan while Daniel Negreanu being vegan is just trivia, and Duke Law grad Vanessa Rousso is,either a dumb bimbo who sucks at poker but is hot or she is a hideous hag.

Really not up for defending Annie Duke, but there is enough to say about her without diving into the woman-hate, which is mostly what everybody does.

And women aren't much better. Tiffany Michelle ran around cheering for herself at the WSOP whenever another women was bumped out so she was "last woman standing." so aggravating. (non poker people: TM was recently on Food Network's Worst Cooks)

Honestly, Id love to go play some tournaments when they open table games in Maryland, but I'm also a little scared of the poker culture if I go.

ETA: the Jennifer Harman thing really steams me. This is a woman who has been around Vegas a long time. She has a WSOP bracelet from a challenging, prestigious event, has won millions, is respected by other pros as a major cash game player, does tons of charity work for humane society/SPCA and kidney disease and she is still written off as "just a woman" and not an attractive enough one (also stupid since she is clearly quite attractive but she doesn't come to the tables with her boobs hanging out which is apparently an unwritten requirement.)

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Last edited by lavawitch on Fri Mar 29, 2013 8:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 8:49 pm 
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Liz_D wrote:
I'm finally fed up enough with the women I work with that I'm speaking up to them about how they let the male employees and customers treat the women. They let some of the customers hug them, flirt with them. . . I however don't and don't intend to start, but the men all think it's okay to touch me and get offended when I tell them to stop. Just 'innocent' touches, poking someone in the back when they aren't paying attention, rubbing sholders, I HATE IT. My boss is always patting me on the sholder, kind of a "there, there, little girl" motion. One of my friends said 'they don't mean anything, it's okay, just let it go.' I find it so demeaning and patronizing to be treated like girls rather than employees/clerks. Same co-worker gets all giggly and flirty when upper management (only the men of course) come into the store.

Just getting so tired of being told I'm not friendly because I don't play along. grrr
/rant
So, wait - you're telling us you work in 1952??

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 9:01 pm 
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Desdemona wrote:
So, wait - you're telling us you work in 1952??


No, it's at least '59/'60. They started allowing men to have facial hair last year and the women haven't had different uniforms from the men for more than 8 years. Still frown on piercings or visible tatoos, though.


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