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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 11:31 am 
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mollyjade wrote:
my ability to "catch a husband".

pandacookie wrote:
What size net should one get for this husband catching? I have perhaps been doing this wrong.


Given that married women live less long, maybe husbands isn't something you want to catch.... ;) Though I guess a discussion of whether marriage is the best thing for all women is probably a topic better left to another thread.

I also think its crazy to ignore that there is really no scientifically demonstrable connection between body size and being married.

I liked this Guardian piece "Fight Unhealthy Food, Not Fat People" which points to the fact that if we are concerned about health, then let's focus on health.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree ... ly-problem

Quote:
In all seriousness: What good does a focus on body size actually do? If we're actually concerned about health, then we should focus on health. The addictive qualities of our food, the lack of oversight, the high levels of chemicals and the government subsidies that make the worst foods the most accessible should concern us and spur us to action.

Nutrient-deficient chemically-processed "food" in increasingly larger sizes is bad for all of our bodies, whether we're fat or thin or somewhere in between. So is the culture in which fast food is able to thrive. Americans work more than ever before; we take fewer vacation days and put in longer hours, especially since the recession hit. The US remains the only industrialized country without national paid parental leave and without mandatory annual vacation time; we also have no federal law requiring paid sick days. Eighty-five percent of American men and 66% of women work more than 40 hours per week (in Norway, for comparison, 23% of men work more than 40-hour weeks, and only 7% of women).

Reforming our food system requires major structural changes, not finger-wagging to put down that bag of chips. We need to push back against corporate interests. Food companies are incredibly adept at positing themselves as crusaders for personal choice and entities simply dedicated to giving the public what it wants. Somehow, big food companies have convinced us that drinking a 32oz soda is a matter of personal liberty, and that the government has no place in regulating how much liquid sugar can be sold in a single container.

In fact, we know – and they certainly know – that human beings are remarkably bad at judging how much we're eating. Food companies use that information to encourage over-consumption, and to target certain consumers who tend to have less disposable income to invest in healthy food – poor people, people of color, kids.

Food is a social justice issue that has disproportionately negative impacts on groups already facing hardship. That should be an issue for every socially conscious person. But when looking at the myriad problems caused not only by our big food industry but by the policies that enable them and our cultural norms that incentivize poor health choices, too many people simply turn "obesity" into the boogeyman.

Doctors even blame fatness for all sorts of medical conditions and people don't get proper treatment. Fat women go to the doctor less often for routine cancer screenings, and patients anecdotally report doctors focusing on their weight and ignoring real medical problems like broken bones and asthma.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 12:26 pm 
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pandacookie wrote:
What size net should one get for this husband catching? I have perhaps been doing this wrong.

Apparently, the key is contacts.


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 9:21 pm 
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vijita wrote:
mollyjade wrote:
I hate when doctors do this, too. I get that weight is related to health. But I don't need to be pressured about my appearance at the doctor. Talk to me about my health, not about how I'll look in a swimsuit or my ability to "catch a husband".

Yes! My friend/coworker is overweight, and he saw a doctor last year for a work injury. The doctor made him feel so shitty that he vowed never to go for anything again. The doctor basically concluded that everything in his life would be so much better if he lost weight, even though he was there for a flesh wound and he eats incredibly healthily and makes an effort to get exercise.

I grew up fat. I also have the worst immune system of anyone I've ever met so I was sick a lot. I can't tell you the number of colds I've had that would be cured by losing weight. Funnily enough, I still get sick all the time, but I'm now a socially acceptable body weight so I don't get shiitake at the doctor.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 9:48 pm 
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Yeah, that shiitake happened when I had a period nonstop for something like 8 months: "you're fat. Go away, lose Weoght, then come back if you still have this problem." meanwhile, I'm gaining weight like crazy and have bouncing and crashing hormones from hell. The dr who was meanest was a massive guy who had to squeeze sideways through his own door. Yet still no compassion or giving-a-shit.

Then, after my surgery, I had a similar problem again, only this time I was at the lowest end of "normal." and they said:,"go away, gain some weight, then come back."

It's bullshiitake.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 10:01 pm 
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Something that really bothers me is that if you're an RD in a clinical setting, you have to note BMIs and you have to classify them as normal, overweight or obese and then if they are overweight or obese you kind of have to say what you are going to do about that. It's really annoying! For seniors, at least, you don't really want them to lose weight, so you don't have to address it as much, but i always feel bad writing that someone is overweight or obese, when I'd love to be able to say they are "normal" because everyone is normal.

I had one doctor that literally didn't even look at me. She just looked on a paper, saw my BMI and said "you need to diet and exercise to lose the weight" huh?!

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 2:27 pm 
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Read this really interesting and thought-provoking article by Margaret Cho describing her extremely negative experience as a heavily tattooed woman in a Korean spa in Los Angeles. I've really been moved by Cho's previous openness about body image and the size pressure she faced from the entertainment industry. It's interesting to see her tackle a body image issue that has nothing to do with sizeism or weight. Just goes to show it seems nobody is safe from scrutiny in one way or another!

http://jezebel.com/5992256/in-a-room-fu ... come-sight

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 2:32 pm 
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Blaargh. I hate the word obese, even though it's a medical classification. I used to have this coworker who would pronounce it "obeast" which was even worse.

The only time I have liked that word was when I weighed on the Wii-fit and the little tiny voice says "That's obese!" It's precious. LOL.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 3:18 pm 
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Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
Read this really interesting and thought-provoking article by Margaret Cho describing her extremely negative experience as a heavily tattooed woman in a Korean spa in Los Angeles. I've really been moved by Cho's previous openness about body image and the size pressure she faced from the entertainment industry. It's interesting to see her tackle a body image issue that has nothing to do with sizeism or weight. Just goes to show it seems nobody is safe from scrutiny in one way or another!

http://jezebel.com/5992256/in-a-room-fu ... come-sight


I recently learned about Korean spas from a friend of mine who told me about her experience at one, she had a great time (no tattoos so no comparison). I can understand though that many at a Korean spa would be first generational Korean or influenced heavily by those that are. I don't know why Koreans are anti-tattoo but I read the threads about people visiting Japan where there were signs saying people without tattoos were not allowed into spas. If it was similar reasons (criminal, mafia type element association) then I think one would understand why people might be a bit uncomfortable. Sure it is Los Angeles, but I don't think you can discount the heavy influence, especially if someone is Korean themselves. Should she be able to go in? Sure but I think it is hard to buck traditional systems like this unless you get a Korean type spa that caters more to Americans rather than the traditionalist Koreans.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 5:36 am 
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linanil wrote:
Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
Read this really interesting and thought-provoking article by Margaret Cho describing her extremely negative experience as a heavily tattooed woman in a Korean spa in Los Angeles. I've really been moved by Cho's previous openness about body image and the size pressure she faced from the entertainment industry. It's interesting to see her tackle a body image issue that has nothing to do with sizeism or weight. Just goes to show it seems nobody is safe from scrutiny in one way or another!

http://jezebel.com/5992256/in-a-room-fu ... come-sight


I recently learned about Korean spas from a friend of mine who told me about her experience at one, she had a great time (no tattoos so no comparison). I can understand though that many at a Korean spa would be first generational Korean or influenced heavily by those that are. I don't know why Koreans are anti-tattoo but I read the threads about people visiting Japan where there were signs saying people without tattoos were not allowed into spas. If it was similar reasons (criminal, mafia type element association) then I think one would understand why people might be a bit uncomfortable. Sure it is Los Angeles, but I don't think you can discount the heavy influence, especially if someone is Korean themselves. Should she be able to go in? Sure but I think it is hard to buck traditional systems like this unless you get a Korean type spa that caters more to Americans rather than the traditionalist Koreans.


Yeah, I think a big part of the reason Koreans are anti-tattoo is because of the association with Japanese organized crime. Last I heard, it is actually still illegal in Korea for anyone other than a medical doctor to give a tattoo, meaning that it'ssort of an underground thing, which probably adds to the stigma. So I sort of get where those people were probably coming from, not that I agree with it.

geeksweetheart wrote:
I used to have this coworker who would pronounce it "obeast" which was even worse.

Yikes. I cringe on your behalf.

Anyway, in response to the people talking about doctors not listening and making you feel like shiitake because of your BMI... the same thing has happened to me! There was a period of time when my BMI was *very slightly* over into the "overweight" category and I went to the doc for a checkup. I was pretty physically active then, felt good, so I was not overly concerned with my weight in terms of numbers. He weighed me, looked at his clipboard and asked "Do you exercise at all? What kind of physical activity do you do on a regular basis?" I told him that I walked 3-4 miles per day, which was true, because I walked to/from work every day. His response? "Yeah... you don't walk that much. You need to get more exercise." Guess who never went back to that doctor again?

Or there was the doc I went to before that. She was a little better, because she didn't ever call me a liar, but every time she would ask me "How do you feel about your current weight?" and I'd say "Pretty good!" and then she'd give me a nice long frown before moving on to the next thing.

Another thing: I have been trying to lose weight recently for health reasons. I actually feel mostly OK about the way I look, but gaining weight has put extra stress on my messed-up knee and some other body parts and that isn't good. Anyway, I've told a few people, mainly because my dietary habits have been a little different lately and some people asked why, but now I wish I hadn't, because suddenly these people feel like they have free license to comment on my weight/food choices. They say things like "Yeah, I used to be an unhealthy eater too," or offer completely useless/stupid advice like "OH, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU'RE A VAYYYYGUN! YOU'VE GOTTA EAT LESS PASTA!" Thanks... but I didn't eat pasta especially often to begin with. And who said I was an unhealthy eater? I simply said that I was measuring my food portions carefully and eating less restaurant food. I am sick of people having the assumption that anyone who is "overweight" must have terrible impulse control and/or no knowledge of what foods are healthy, or that it's impossible to gain weight if you're eating "healthy" foods. I am also sick of people assuming that I must feel terrible about my appearance if I'm trying to lose weight, and then making comments that reinforce that, because then it DOES make me feel sort of bad even though I didn't in the first place!


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 9:23 am 
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Yikes, Limone! I used to go to Astor Medical in Manhattan, and they were fantastic and non-judgmental about pretty much everything (the practice has a core LGBT clientele who are getting support in living with HIV). I once said I thought I might need to lose weight and the NP looked at me and said "You're very healthy, so I say don't worry but try and be mindful and eat healthy. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes, people tend to forget that." If I even worked in the city any more I would still go there. They were fantastic.

Its funny, but I spent so many years really worried about my weight and exercising and never feeling thin enough, and now I look back at photos and I looked fantastic. I just couldn't appreciate it because I didn't look like some ideal of what I thought I should look like. For some reason after having L, I love the way I look.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 10:08 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
I once said I thought I might need to lose weight and the NP looked at me and said "You're very healthy, so I say don't worry but try and be mindful and eat healthy. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes, people tend to forget that." If I even worked in the city any more I would still go there.


That's so refreshing. I've never had a doctor make a comment about my weight really, but I've heard so many people have really terrible experiences and it makes me sad.

I just hate where my extra weight sits. I'm one of those people where it goes straight to my stomach, and I've never had a flat or flattish belly. I keep hearing that people are more accepting of themselves when they hit thirty and I'm kind of hoping I am effected similarly.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 12:25 pm 
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Yes, I think its because they serve a population that is frequently marginalized and blamed for their health issues, and so often avoids medical professionals for as long as they can, so they are very aware of being judgmental about anything. It is an amazing practice.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 2:29 pm 
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I'm working with my therapist on getting a positive set of beliefs about my own body image and am making bookmarks on positive body image blogs. A while ago I saw a wonderfully rebellious blog by a young woman that I believe was from the New York area. If my memory serves me, she had written an open response to trolls in a "It's my body and I'll do what I want with it" way. It was so joyously irreverent that it made me laugh out loud at times, but I didn't bookmark it when I saw it. If this sounds familiar to anyone please could you link me up?


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 2:47 pm 
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Was it the woman who tracked down one of the trolls and discovered that he was a really sad sack and decided she wasn't going to give a bunch of sad sacks power over her life?

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 2:49 pm 
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I don't recall seeing her write about that event, but it could have been her and I missed it.


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2013 11:33 pm 
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I just opened this thread tonight, and ... wow. This is the first time I'm realizing how prevalent body shaming has been in my life. With my body type, I'll never be skinny, and I spent most of my adolescence a little bit bigger than the other girls in my class. My mom never said anything negative to or about me, but one of my grandmothers did (and my other grandmother would talk about other people and how fat they were). And as an only child and a latchkey kid, I spent hours a day in front of the tv, learning the media's definitions "beautiful" and "sexy." Even now, just about everyone I work with (in a large retail store) makes body shaming comments on a frequent basis, either about themselves or others. I can't get through a whole lunch break without someone talking about a diet that they or someone they know is on.

I'm overweight and unhealthy. I binge eat and I don't exercise. And I've hated my body for years. Tonight is the first time I'm connecting those dots... that maybe if I don't hate my body, I'll actually WANT to take care of it. I've tried to eat better and lose weight on and off (rarely actually "dieting"), but nothing's ever stuck. And I think it's because my motivation was always to look more like what I think I "should" look like. I need to just let go of all that, ignore the image in my head of what is right, and learn to love me for me. I truly do want to be healthy just to be healthy, and I need to disconnect healthiness from weight. Man, I've got so much to process.

I haven't read through this whole thread yet, but I'm so, so, so glad that it's here. You guys have opened my eyes in a very big way today. Thank you.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 9:46 am 
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Zelavie, you might look for books or blogs about Health at Every Size. When you take weight out of the equation, you're a lot more likely to see great results (the way you feel, fitness, blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.) from taking good care of yourself.


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 10:01 am 
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This thread made me look up pictures of Nigella Lawson and Christina Hendricks and now I want to wear a super tight dress to the movies tonight, so that's pretty rad. Especially since I've felt a little weird about my body ever since I realized that I've gained no less than 45 lbs since I began my treatment for my ED.
I am a much much happier person now, though, so whatever. I look good in red!


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 10:23 am 
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http://www.buzzfeed.com/leonoraepstein/ ... he-got-fat

How fickle society's tastes are...

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 2:30 pm 
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I've been really lucky with a couple of doctors. My current doc doesn't care whether I get weighed or not (I always refuse), and whenever I come in she says I look great. Once I mentioned I wanted to lose weight and she said something about smart cultures finding a little extra weight attractive and evidence of good health. She's all about the numbers that matter and not about the numbers that don't.

I had another doctor several years ago who I mentioned wanting to lose weight to. He asked me about my plan for doing so (eat less, move more). He must have written down in the chart that that was my goal, because when I saw him again a year later and 20+ pounds lighter he congratulated me on achieving the goal I had set out for myself. He never said himself that I needed to lose weight, just supported me in the goals I made for myself.


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 5:14 pm 
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smoothie wrote:
This thread made me look up pictures of Nigella Lawson and Christina Hendricks and now I want to wear a super tight dress to the movies tonight, so that's pretty rad. Especially since I've felt a little weird about my body ever since I realized that I've gained no less than 45 lbs since I began my treatment for my ED.
I am a much much happier person now, though, so whatever. I look good in red!
You are beautiful inside and out, and I am so happy you are feeling so much better. xoxoxo

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat Mar 30, 2013 7:20 pm 
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IsaChandra wrote:
People keep calling me fat on my book cover photo on FB. I almost went into a whole thing but then I got exhausted.


WHAT?! What is WRONG with people?

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat Mar 30, 2013 9:02 pm 
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mollyjade wrote:
Zelavie, you might look for books or blogs about Health at Every Size. When you take weight out of the equation, you're a lot more likely to see great results (the way you feel, fitness, blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.) from taking good care of yourself.


Thanks! I downloaded the e-book. It's pretty interesting so far.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon Apr 01, 2013 8:14 pm 
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This is pretty (ha!) awesome. Less about body shape and more about attractiveness, but still very relavent.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 11:34 am 
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I saw this from Target:
http://www.hlntv.com/article/2013/04/04 ... e-backlash

Same dress, Misses/Regular sizes color was Heather Grey while the Plus size color was an adorable Manatee Grey. Target has apologized for this 'oversight' but really?

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