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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Mar 31, 2013 5:35 pm 
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Impressive boner
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My worries have been confirmed - my now ex-landlady is trying to take us for part of our deposit on a shambles of a reason.

When we were at the house she inspected it and didn't raise any concerns. I was in the kitchen with her and she didn't raise anything, in fact she said how pleased she was that the house was the same now as it was when we took it on. About an hour after we left she sent Mr8 a text message claiming that the kitchen hob and cupboards were covered in 'grime and dirt' and that she would have to contract a cleaner. Being the trusting idiots that we are, we didn't take any photos of the property before handing back the keys as we didn't imagine she'd try to pull a shitty stunt like this. I can only imagine that she's trying to do this to cover herself financially to bridge the gap between tenants.

We are going to obtain evidence that shows her claim is false, then send her an email stating that we have reasonable doubt in her claim and if she continues to fork with us we'll take her to Court for 1-3 times the total amount of the deposit.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Mar 31, 2013 5:48 pm 
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hope you get her good, 8ball. we had the same thing happen when we moved, twice now, and it rankles to hear it happening to someone else.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Mar 31, 2013 6:36 pm 
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I intend to do so. I just learned about estoppel and have drafted an email to her. She's not squeezing a penny out of me. Grrrr!


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Mar 31, 2013 6:37 pm 
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ugh 8ball, that is super shitty.


I broke up with the lady I was seeing today and she pretty much reacted in a way which embodied all of my fears, lots of "but why won't you let me just take care of you?" and "I can help you through this, you can't get better by being alone" and "you're not as bad as you say you are, you're just trying to make me feel better about this" and "It's not fair" and "I can't just be friends, it's going to have to be nothing or everything." and most of all there was a lot of "I don't understand"


so she literally said everything I was worried about, plus crying.
buh
buhhhhhhhhhh


I hate myself sometimes. I wish I wasn't broken. I wish my entire romantic history wasn't filled with people crying and asking me why I was so cold.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Mar 31, 2013 7:01 pm 
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booberthefraggle wrote:
ugh 8ball, that is super shitty.


I broke up with the lady I was seeing today and she pretty much reacted in a way which embodied all of my fears, lots of "but why won't you let me just take care of you?" and "I can help you through this, you can't get better by being alone" and "you're not as bad as you say you are, you're just trying to make me feel better about this" and "It's not fair" and "I can't just be friends, it's going to have to be nothing or everything." and most of all there was a lot of "I don't understand"


so she literally said everything I was worried about, plus crying.
buh
buhhhhhhhhhh


I hate myself sometimes. I wish I wasn't broken. I wish my entire romantic history wasn't filled with people crying and asking me why I was so cold.


That is not your fault. THAT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Some people can get better by being with people. Some people need to be on their own. You can only control how you feel/what you know about how your life is. That's not fair of her to put her feelings on you, etc.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Mar 31, 2013 9:26 pm 
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Boober, you did what you needed to do for yourself. I'm sorry she took it so poorly, but that's not your fault. Breakups are always hard, but you will both get over this, and you don't need to blame yourself.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Mar 31, 2013 9:52 pm 
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Boober you do so much for people and you seem to be such a kind and generous friend. I don't think you're cold or broken at all - some sensitive and loving people have to guard their hearts a bit before they give them to people because they can't easily take them back.

Sending many good thoughts <3

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Apr 01, 2013 12:25 pm 
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I'm sorry Boober. Hope you're feeling a bit better now.

I decided to be all stealthy today and took the bus over to the old house to peek through the kitchen window at the hob. Guess what? it was shiny, clean and white - just as I left it. As this weekend is a bank holiday and most businesses are closed until tomorrow I'm certain she cannot have contracted a private cleaning company to work on the house between 3.30pm yesterday and 11am today (Not that she would have needed to anyway). I took photos through the window and sent the landlady a long email letting her know that we know she's lying and to pay our deposit back to us, or we'll take things further. She's got three days to respond. If she doesn't I'll being the deposit release process. If she does respond whatever happens next depends on what she says.

Lets see what happens!


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 1:09 am 
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thanks dudes.

I stupidly asked my mom for advice in a moment of not thinking clearly and let me tell you, that was a really really bad decision.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 5:02 am 
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Back to work after 4 lovely days off and realising I now don't have a single day off until the 20th. Suckfest.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 11:12 am 
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I'm about ready to Hulk smash something.

Landlady emailed back, claiming that when I looked through the kitchen window it was after she and her husband had spent four hours cleaning the kitchen, so of course it was clean. She denies I was in the kitchen with her at any point (I was).

She has stated that we will not lose any of our deposit, but still, being accused of this and her blatantly lying has me feeling super-angry.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 11:43 am 
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sounds like you intimidated her into doing the right thing. Good work! It sucks, but I feel like landlords regularly abuse their discretion on the deposit. My sister had something similar happen where their landlord dodged all attempts to be served so they couldn't even sue her in small claims. at some point they just wrote it off.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 12:02 pm 
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I feel that few landlords are difficult but they give the all of them a bad reputation. In England landlords have to place deposits into government backed custodial schemes, so they don't hold the money and any disputes are conducted via an official mediation service. It doesn't stop some of them trying to dodge the law though.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 3:35 pm 
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I had the following exchanges with a member of my group who hasn't done hardly anything for the big final presentation we have Friday. This is my program's equivalent of a thesis presentation, and it's required for graduation.

1:
group member: I just think you have high standards for this project. And I think if this were my project...
me: What, you'd have lower standards?
group member: Yeah.

2:
group member: I think we have different styles. I mean, it's kind of my style to do things at the last minute.
me: And when you're part of a group, and it's a group presentation, and you wait until the last minute, it feels like you aren't helping at all because we get things done before you start.

SO INFURIATING.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 6:57 pm 
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I just realised that at some point this evening I left my waterproof jacket somewhere in the library where it has probably been picked up and locked away, so I won't be able to get it until tomorrow morning. As well as being my warm layer, it also has my bike lights and gloves in the pockets so I can't even cycle home (which is nearly 4 miles away). I have spent the last half hour walking around the library and looking for it but haven't been able to spot it anywhere so I'm pretty sure it's been found as a lost item. It's freezing outside, I haven't eaten a proper meal since this morning (it's now 1am here) and overall I just feel miserable. I can't believe I did something so stupid as to just leave it lying about somewhere.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 7:13 pm 
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My grandmother has incurable lung cancer. Apparently, she and most of my family have known for oh, around 6 months. And, no one (i.e., my mother) thought it necessary to tell me. I found out because my grandmother mentioned in my birthday card she'd been having chemo. When I asked my mother why she hasn't told me, her text response was, "Sorry." I'm not particular close with my grandmother, but she's still my grandmother for fork's sake. What. The. fork. Also, fork cancer.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 8:54 pm 
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jane henson died! i saw her at a theater event in december, and she was having some trouble getting around, but when she talked she was so present and funny. her daughter cheryl was there, too, and she sat next to her and held her hand during the performance. i wonder whether she knew there might not be much time left. :(

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 9:31 pm 
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Missed my bus, now I worry I'll be late for my rehearsal! Pout. I hate being late.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 9:52 pm 
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pastabake wrote:
I had the following exchanges with a member of my group who hasn't done hardly anything for the big final presentation we have Friday. This is my program's equivalent of a thesis presentation, and it's required for graduation.

1:
group member: I just think you have high standards for this project. And I think if this were my project...
me: What, you'd have lower standards?
group member: Yeah.

2:
group member: I think we have different styles. I mean, it's kind of my style to do things at the last minute.
me: And when you're part of a group, and it's a group presentation, and you wait until the last minute, it feels like you aren't helping at all because we get things done before you start.

SO INFURIATING.

Ugh, I feel for you. I'm admittedly a last-minuter on my own stuff, but I make it a point to not be like that in group contexts. Good luck on Friday, I hope this person's, uh, "style" doesn't bring you guys down at all.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 6:13 am 
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Imogen wrote:
I just realised that at some point this evening I left my waterproof jacket somewhere in the library where it has probably been picked up and locked away, so I won't be able to get it until tomorrow morning. As well as being my warm layer, it also has my bike lights and gloves in the pockets so I can't even cycle home (which is nearly 4 miles away). I have spent the last half hour walking around the library and looking for it but haven't been able to spot it anywhere so I'm pretty sure it's been found as a lost item. It's freezing outside, I haven't eaten a proper meal since this morning (it's now 1am here) and overall I just feel miserable. I can't believe I did something so stupid as to just leave it lying about somewhere.


Plus it now looks as though someone has stolen my jacket as no one has handed it into the library reception .... argh, people!

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 8:17 am 
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I feel so emotionally vulnerable and fragile right now, I just want to curl up and cry. (There's best friend drama, and dad drama, and a bunch of miscommunications and over/wrong communications all over the place. I kinda wish I were off on my own in the woods somewhere. Or at a shaktipeeth in India, like Tarapeeth or Kamakhya.)

eta: It can be great to feel vulnerable. But this is so much at once. (And, it doesn't really feel that great.)

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 8:27 am 
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(((((Hugs Lutin)))) Sending you many warm and calming vibes and holding you in our thoughts

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 8:36 am 
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Aw, lutin. :( Hugs to you, hon. Try to be extra super-duper kind to yourself right now, and do stuff that helps you feel comforted and secure. Can you cocoon for a while? That's what I tend to do when I'm feeling overly-vulnerable.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 9:41 am 
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The extremely absent owner of my workplace assured and promised me that she would pay out my vacation this pay period, and she clearly hasn't. Plus, she just left on vacation. I emailed her about it and she gave a sob story about her other business (a hotel) being under financially, as though I'm supposed to give a shiitake about that. Normally I would make do, but I am flying to London in less than a week for my honeymoon and have bills from the wedding to settle. This is a very First World problem to have, I know, but I pour my heart and soul into that job and I only ask to be treated fairly. I'm already way under-compensated as it is. Boo hoo. She expects me to work unpaid overtime hours and be at her beck and call 24/7 and yet she forks up nearly every single pay period.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 9:49 am 
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that is beyond inconsiderate. it's not a favor, it is your compensation.
i quit a job that sounds very similar- every payday, every single one, there was some problem. not for everyone, just some of us [tended to be the women, now that i think about it]. at the tenth time, i had enough, walked in there, quit that day with no notice, and said i wasn't leaving the building til i got my paycheck in cash, and if he had any issues we could walk down to the labor court and file my complaint together. surprisingly, for someone who had trouble paying my check regularly, he had two months worth of back wages in cash in his pocket.
my only regret is that i didn't do that the first time, not the tenth time.
i know quitting is not always reasonable but i hope that you get this resolved in a timely manner and stick by your guns. She promised you something and she lied. Her reasons are not your problem. big hugs.

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