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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:50 pm 
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Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
ijustdiedinside wrote:
Also, plot holes (not related to body shaming): the guy she was marrying seemed to have all their high school guy friends as his groomsmen, but in the beginning Lizzy Caplan made a point of saying that she'd seen the guy and he was hot, so clearly they didn't go to high school with him. I dunno, I guess I focus on stupid shiitake like that when a movie is so terrible?

Was that scene on the plane with Lizzy Caplan and Horatio Sanz awkward to watch with your mom?


Yes, I couldn't wrap my head around the groomsmen logic, either! Was this amazing hot groom so much of a loser that he didn't have any friends of his own?

Actually, the airplane scene wasn't that awkward to watch (would have definitely been super awkward to watch with my dad, though). I think what made me want to apologize to my mom for suggesting the film were the hinky date-rapey scenes and the nonstop barrage of women constantly calling each other croissants despite being "best friends." I do not shy away from the C-word, it's a fantastic cuss word (when used sparingly), but I have never called a friend by it.


Here I was wondering what the big deal is being called a croissant (they're delicious!) when I realized word filter...


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sun Apr 28, 2013 10:48 am 
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Desdemona wrote:
I'm not sure whether to put this in this thread, the feminist thread, or the as-yet-to-be-created-but clearly-necessary WHAT THE fork DID I JUST READ? thread. (Warning: ED-related content)

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/20 ... e_you.html


what the fizzle?!

I just discovered this thread and I'm so glad it exists. I've been really struggling with my body image lately so it's so nice to read all the body positive stuff going on here. Thank you PPK <3


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue May 07, 2013 8:34 am 
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Someone on my road has a sticker in their car back window which says 'no fat chicks'. Argh!!

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue May 07, 2013 8:36 am 
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Imogen wrote:
Someone on my road has a sticker in their car back window which says 'no fat chicks'. Argh!!

My former workmate used to have that sticker in his car window too. I advised him of his doucheness, he laughed.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 10:19 am 
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IsaChandra wrote:
People keep calling me fat on my book cover photo on FB. I almost went into a whole thing but then I got exhausted.

Just flicking through and seen this, have to say Isa you are so not fat. You are just beautiful.
What are the people who comment about you on?
And I asked my Fatman (his own nickname, he was a lot overweight and due to health reasons had to lose some, lost 1.5 stone in a year, still not skinny, but after 25 years of marriage, I don't care, I don't want a supermodel hubby, I want a real man, and his blood sugar levels are good, that the important thing) anyway, asked him what he thought of you and he said you were a good, healthy looking person. And a good role model. And he loves your cakes (all this from an omni!).

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 10:31 am 
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I used to be very skinny as a child and into my 20s.
Then taking steroids and beta blockers in my 30s & 40s made me put weight on, as did the menopause.
Over the last year the weight has just come off, I've not dieted (don't believe in diets, they don't work) and now people keep asking me how I've managed to lose weight and I have no answer apart from post menopause, and it seems very few people believe me.
Lots of people seem to think I've been on a diet, or I've been exercising (not). And most people seem to think it's really important. And I'm fed up with the comments. Maybe my body, off drugs and post menopause is going back to where it used to be - but it can stop as I'm happy as I am now, and I too don't want to buy new clothes (I hate clothes shopping).
I think the body shaming works all ways, overweight and underweight.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 10:52 am 
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Admittedly, I haven't gone through and read each post in this thread, so I don't know whether or not anyone else has already made this point. But I cannot help but to think of Seane Corn http://www.seanecorn.com/ when I say, people need to be able to inhabit their bodies. Imagine what happens to a person if they think they don't have a right to a body - their body. Disowning your physical being has horrible consequences. Suffering, sickness, etc. Because what we hate and punish and torture *suffers.* And all because someone doesn't feel they have the right to occupy space on the planet. Seane focuses on pulling people back into their bodies. Something that as a survivor of childhood sexual molestation, she would know. (Most victims survive by "escaping" their bodies, mentally & emotionally.) Only compassion toward our own and others' bodies can heal this wound.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2013 3:33 pm 
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Thought this was such a good anecdote of how healthcare professionals often fail fat people:

http://morecabaret.com/2013/05/07/why-i ... my-father/


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 9:44 pm 
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annak wrote:
Thought this was such a good anecdote of how healthcare professionals often fail fat people:

http://morecabaret.com/2013/05/07/why-i ... my-father/
Jeez. I don't read bloggy things that make me cry very often, but that last paragraph did; thanks for sharing.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 9:50 pm 
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Wow. That hurt my heart.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 11:00 pm 
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Wow, thank you for sharing.


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon May 13, 2013 3:20 pm 
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Aaand in the news. Good for this roller derby player for standing up to someone else's perception of what would make her more attractive (spoiler: being thinner!)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/1 ... ostpopular


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue May 14, 2013 7:17 pm 
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Today I had to go get livescan fingerprints because I am becoming certified to be a public notary. The guy at the place where I had it done had to clarify my correct weight, because I am now 20 lbs. lighter than my drivers license says (which was, in turn, 20 lbs lighter than I actually was at the time). He kept remarking on how I lost 20 lbs. I know most people view that as a positive, and I do for my particular situation, but all the same it made me uncomfortable. Because what if I hadn't lost the weight in a healthy way, what if it was weight I couldn't afford to lose? I mean, whatever, however I lost the weight or for whatever reason, it wasn't cool.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Tue May 14, 2013 7:26 pm 
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I stopped in Sephora today and the points gift was a stupid bottle of nail polish with the color name Iris I Was Thinner. Gag. I passed.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri May 17, 2013 5:44 pm 
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Image

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri May 17, 2013 6:17 pm 
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That's awesome, Tofulish!

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri May 17, 2013 8:01 pm 
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Ugh, you guys. I was at a museum with a friend, and we were viewing a demonstration, so we had to find a place to sit. We sat kind of off to the side, away from people, because neither one of us is social. But the place got more crowded, and a family came and sat on the bench next to me. My friend leaned over and said, "Wow, raspberrycomplaint, I am so sorry." At first I thought she was just saying that because I would rather not sit next to people, so I just shrugged and said, "No, it's fine. It's crowded and everyone needs to get a seat." But then she said, "Ugh, it's like on the subway when fat people sit next to you. Does that happen to you? It always happens to me. It's so disgusting, it's like why do they have to sit next to me? I don't want to have to look at fat people the whole ride. Gross." I was just staring at her, horrified, but she didn't seem to notice, and just went on and on. She was quite loud, too, so I'm sure the people sitting next to me could hear her and I was mortified. Finally I got my brain to work and said, "Stop it! That's horrible!" and she just laughed and said "Oh, I know, I am so mean!" like she was proud of herself. Annnnd I don't even know if I can be friends with someone who could say that stuff. I know she has struggled with an eating disorder for years and has a forked up view of body image, but still. I can't believe she would be that mean. And now I wonder if she has been judging me this whole time for not being thin like her. And basically I want to live under a rock and just not have friends, ever, because people turn out to be terrible.


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri May 17, 2013 8:07 pm 
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raspberrycomplaint wrote:
Ugh, you guys. I was at a museum with a friend, and we were viewing a demonstration, so we had to find a place to sit. We sat kind of off to the side, away from people, because neither one of us is social. But the place got more crowded, and a family came and sat on the bench next to me. My friend leaned over and said, "Wow, raspberrycomplaint, I am so sorry." At first I thought she was just saying that because I would rather not sit next to people, so I just shrugged and said, "No, it's fine. It's crowded and everyone needs to get a seat." But then she said, "Ugh, it's like on the subway when fat people sit next to you. Does that happen to you? It always happens to me. It's so disgusting, it's like why do they have to sit next to me? I don't want to have to look at fat people the whole ride. Gross." I was just staring at her, horrified, but she didn't seem to notice, and just went on and on. She was quite loud, too, so I'm sure the people sitting next to me could hear her and I was mortified. Finally I got my brain to work and said, "Stop it! That's horrible!" and she just laughed and said "Oh, I know, I am so mean!" like she was proud of herself. Annnnd I don't even know if I can be friends with someone who could say that stuff. I know she has struggled with an eating disorder for years and has a forked up view of body image, but still. I can't believe she would be that mean. And now I wonder if she has been judging me this whole time for not being thin like her. And basically I want to live under a rock and just not have friends, ever, because people turn out to be terrible.


Wow raspberrycomplaint, I'm so sorry.


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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Fri May 17, 2013 8:10 pm 
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raspberrycomplaint wrote:
Ugh, you guys. I was at a museum with a friend, and we were viewing a demonstration, so we had to find a place to sit. We sat kind of off to the side, away from people, because neither one of us is social. But the place got more crowded, and a family came and sat on the bench next to me. My friend leaned over and said, "Wow, raspberrycomplaint, I am so sorry." At first I thought she was just saying that because I would rather not sit next to people, so I just shrugged and said, "No, it's fine. It's crowded and everyone needs to get a seat." But then she said, "Ugh, it's like on the subway when fat people sit next to you. Does that happen to you? It always happens to me. It's so disgusting, it's like why do they have to sit next to me? I don't want to have to look at fat people the whole ride. Gross." I was just staring at her, horrified, but she didn't seem to notice, and just went on and on. She was quite loud, too, so I'm sure the people sitting next to me could hear her and I was mortified. Finally I got my brain to work and said, "Stop it! That's horrible!" and she just laughed and said "Oh, I know, I am so mean!" like she was proud of herself. Annnnd I don't even know if I can be friends with someone who could say that stuff. I know she has struggled with an eating disorder for years and has a forked up view of body image, but still. I can't believe she would be that mean. And now I wonder if she has been judging me this whole time for not being thin like her. And basically I want to live under a rock and just not have friends, ever, because people turn out to be terrible.


Ugh, gross! Yeah, recently someone I really like posted something racist and kinda homophobic on FB and I was like, what the hell?!?! I like you! You're not supposed to...just...ughhhhh. :( And don't even get me started on how many people's latent transphobia I've found out about through incidents like that.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat May 18, 2013 2:51 am 
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Today at work several people said I looked great, have I lost weight?

No. I got my forking hair cut yesterday.

I weigh pretty much the same as I've weighed all year. And I'm even a fairly socially "acceptable" weight right now, so I guess there is never a point where losing weight won't make you look better? At least until you get to where people tell you to gain weight? Is this like the whole climate change tipping point theory?

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat May 18, 2013 3:07 am 
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lavawitch wrote:
Today at work several people said I looked great, have I lost weight?

No. I got my forking hair cut yesterday.

I weigh pretty much the same as I've weighed all year. And I'm even a fairly socially "acceptable" weight right now, so I guess there is never a point where losing weight won't make you look better? At least until you get to where people tell you to gain weight? Is this like the whole climate change tipping point theory?

Seriously. When I was I high school and stuggled with disordered eating people would loudly exclaim in public that I needed meat on my bones or would ask me *in front of a crowd of friends* if I was anorexic. Now, even at whatever heavier yet socially acceptable weight I am at, I constantly get asked if I've lost weight (as if it's a good thing) whenever I make a change to my makeup, buy new jeans, cut my hair, whatever, when Ive been the same damn weight for at least 5 years. I'm never good enough!! Please, someone tell me what number I need to be at to avoid both the "gain more weight!" and the "lose weight!" camps.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat May 18, 2013 10:39 am 
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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat May 18, 2013 1:05 pm 
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You know, I don't think it's about weight at all, I think it's that we are so weight-obsessed that we filter everything through it. Look better than last time I saw you? Must have lost weight! I don't think it's even that you look slimmer, just that we associate "more (stereotypically) attractive" with "lost weight". Which is interesting to me for a couple reasons. One is that weight is a notoriously poor way of measuring anything but your relationship to gravity and two is that we are constantly encouraging women to take up less space.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Sat May 18, 2013 1:41 pm 
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j-dub wrote:
You know, I don't think it's about weight at all, I think it's that we are so weight-obsessed that we filter everything through it. Look better than last time I saw you? Must have lost weight! I don't think it's even that you look slimmer, just that we associate "more (stereotypically) attractive" with "lost weight". Which is interesting to me for a couple reasons. One is that weight is a notoriously poor way of measuring anything but your relationship to gravity and two is that we are constantly encouraging women to take up less space.


That's exactly it. Yesterday I had a subtle hair cut, and was wearing an orange and pink plaid shirt, white cami and khaki skirt (considering I normally wear all or mostly black, this was notable), and the turquoise bead necklace I got myself for my birthday, and silvery blue eyeliner. So I obviously looked a little different than usual, and people just jump to weight by default whennthey cant figure out whats different/nice, especially since women are all mostly conditioned to think it a compliment.

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 Post subject: Re: Had enough of body shaming?
PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2013 4:34 pm 
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