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 Post subject: Re: Flatulence
PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:16 pm 
Bought a used copy of Natural Harvest
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The volume of my farts has been unreal the last week! Like, I'm pretty sure yesterday once I farted and there was a visible gust of air coming from my butt via my pajama pants.
And they're NASTY. Voluminous and nasty, what did I do to deserve this?!

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Did you notice the slight feeling of panic at the words "Chicken Basin Street"? Like someone was walking over your grave? Try not to remember. We must never remember. - mumbles
Is this about devilberries and nazifruit again? - footface


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 Post subject: Re: Flatulance
PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 11:49 am 
Not NOT A Furry
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acr wrote:
i think my poot just scared the cat off the couch. :( sorry, kitty! beans and rice were all i had in the house today!

I have more than once scared my cats off my lap.

I'm farting CONSTANTLY lately. And it doesn't matter what I eat. The other day I had to take a walk down a long hallway at work, and I swear, I farted with every single step. It was un-real.

Daiya farts are the worst, though. When I eat Daiya, my husband won't allow me in the bedroom for 2 days.

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Yay, and verily he said unto them, "Eat this nooch for it tastes kind of like cheese, and drink this kombucha for it is awesome. And don't be a vegan hating douche because no one likes an asshat." - DancesWithTofu


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 Post subject: Re: Flatulence
PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 9:55 pm 
Has gasoline in her veins
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I can't believe I'm admitting this, because I never fart in public... seriously.

The other day I accidentally farted while scooping soy curls from a bulk bin. It was just a small preview of what was to come. SOY CURLS... you turn me into a hot air balloon of horror.

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 Post subject: Re: Flatulence
PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 12:25 am 
Brain Made of Raw Seitan
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Location: Under a bridge
My fart just now was so loud that I think it woke up my boyfriend (who is sleeping in the next room with the door closed, yikes).


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 Post subject: Re: Flatulence
PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 7:37 am 
Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan
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Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:08 pm
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I ate lentils last night, so watch out, world.

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But if one were to tickle Pluto, I suspect that it might very quietly laugh. - pandacookie

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Awesome. Vegan. Rad.


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 Post subject: Re: Flatulence
PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2013 2:13 pm 
Should Spend More Time Helping the Animals
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My farts smelled so bad last night, that I actually work up from smelling it. In my dream state I thought there was a skunk in the room. Terrible.

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I would eat Dr. Cow pocket cheese in a second. I would eat it if you hid it under your hat, or in your backpack, but not if it was in your shoe. That's where I draw the line. -allularpunk


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 Post subject: Re: Flatulence
PostPosted: Mon Jun 03, 2013 9:41 pm 
Tofu Pup
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Ok, I have a recent story (confession?) that was just too good not to share. On Memorial Day, my fiance and I were hanging out with some of his friends when he nonchalantly let out one of his trademark loud-but-not-stinky butt blasts. I decided that would be the perfect cover for me to slip out some of my own gas that had been building (I should mention that this was shortly after I had eaten one too many tofu kebabs). Like the vast majority of my farts, it came out without the slightest sound.

Of course, that doesn't mean it was going to go unnoticed. This one was baaaad, even by my super stinky standards. We were all sent running out of the room with shirts over our noses, and naturally, my fiance was getting all the blame. It was beyond hilarious to watch him try to deny responsibility for the smell after he had so obviously and proudly ripped the audible fart. He just didn't have it in his heart to blame it on me - although he made it clear afterwards that if I ever pulled that trick again, he wouldn't be so gracious.


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 Post subject: Re: Flatulence
PostPosted: Tue Jun 04, 2013 12:47 pm 
Should Spend More Time Helping the Animals
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That. is. awesome. I am going to remember this little trick.

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I would eat Dr. Cow pocket cheese in a second. I would eat it if you hid it under your hat, or in your backpack, but not if it was in your shoe. That's where I draw the line. -allularpunk


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 Post subject: Re: Flatulence
PostPosted: Tue Jun 04, 2013 12:54 pm 
Bought a used copy of Natural Harvest
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This is my favourite thread.

A few weeks ago my cat farted in my face. I think as a payback for all the horrible farts I've been letting out lately, often while he's napping on me.

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Did you notice the slight feeling of panic at the words "Chicken Basin Street"? Like someone was walking over your grave? Try not to remember. We must never remember. - mumbles
Is this about devilberries and nazifruit again? - footface


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 Post subject: Re: Flatulence
PostPosted: Tue Jun 04, 2013 1:17 pm 
No-pants hermit 4 lyfe
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i love that the two things i wrote about farts on these boards were the only part of me that lived on here in my absence. it's an appropriate topic for a lingering ghost.

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"rise from the ashes of douchebaggery like a fancy vegan phoenix" - amandabear
"I'm pretty sure the moral of this story is: fork pants." - cq


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