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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 12:14 pm 
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choirqueer wrote:
lycophyte wrote:
So, would it be weird of me to sign up for a paid massage with the person I went on a date with a few days ago? She's got a sale going on for a few days, and I could sure use a massage, but I don't know if that is a bad choice.


Well, if you want a massage therapist's opinion...YES, that would definitely be weird. Sorry. I suspect that most massage therapists in that situation would say "oh, it's no big deal, come on in" because honestly we don't make money if we don't say that, and frankly if someone had just been on a date with me and asked me that I would probably have a hard time saying no to that...but it's definitely dubious ethically (especially if you're planning/hoping to have future dates with this person) and potentially problematic for the relationship dynamic.

But don't let that stop you from getting a massage! You live in Asheville, there are massage therapists all over the place! :)


Like my neighbor/break up bisque buddy? Yay! This afternoon.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 12:29 pm 
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takecare wrote:
Why do people think they're going to get a response when they send a message that just says "Hi, I'm Nick". That doesn't even make me want to view their profile, let alone respond to the message.


haha, seriously. Sell yourself to me, baby!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 12:44 pm 
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Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
takecare wrote:
Why do people think they're going to get a response when they send a message that just says "Hi, I'm Nick". That doesn't even make me want to view their profile, let alone respond to the message.


haha, seriously. Sell yourself to me, baby!

All I'm asking for is that they attempt to relate to me in some way. Mention something in my profile that we have in common? It's really not that hard.

And I am especially not going to respond to a message like that if we have a 29% match.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 1:26 pm 
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lycophyte wrote:
choirqueer wrote:
lycophyte wrote:
So, would it be weird of me to sign up for a paid massage with the person I went on a date with a few days ago? She's got a sale going on for a few days, and I could sure use a massage, but I don't know if that is a bad choice.


Well, if you want a massage therapist's opinion...YES, that would definitely be weird. Sorry. I suspect that most massage therapists in that situation would say "oh, it's no big deal, come on in" because honestly we don't make money if we don't say that, and frankly if someone had just been on a date with me and asked me that I would probably have a hard time saying no to that...but it's definitely dubious ethically (especially if you're planning/hoping to have future dates with this person) and potentially problematic for the relationship dynamic.

But don't let that stop you from getting a massage! You live in Asheville, there are massage therapists all over the place! :)


Like my neighbor/break up bisque buddy? Yay! This afternoon.


Yay! :D

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 5:15 pm 
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Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
takecare wrote:
Why do people think they're going to get a response when they send a message that just says "Hi, I'm Nick". That doesn't even make me want to view their profile, let alone respond to the message.


haha, seriously. Sell yourself to me, baby!



Or when they ask, "how are you doing today?" I mostly ignore all of those, there's nothing I can say in response besides a good/fine/ etc but it's such a meaningless answer, you know? I just started online dating a couple of months ago, only been on three dates, and already I'm sick of it. And people can just be really creepy.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 5:25 pm 
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sweet_potato wrote:
Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
takecare wrote:
Why do people think they're going to get a response when they send a message that just says "Hi, I'm Nick". That doesn't even make me want to view their profile, let alone respond to the message.


haha, seriously. Sell yourself to me, baby!



Or when they ask, "how are you doing today?" I mostly ignore all of those, there's nothing I can say in response besides a good/fine/ etc but it's such a meaningless answer, you know? I just started online dating a couple of months ago, only been on three dates, and already I'm sick of it. And people can just be really creepy.

YES! And I feel like short, meaningless messages like this make up about 98% of the messages I get. I really only stay there for the very rare gems of actual interesting people I've met (and for the occasional comic relief of absolutely absurd messages/profiles).

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 5:31 pm 
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takecare wrote:
YES! And I feel like short, meaningless messages like this make up about 98% of the messages I get. I really only stay there for the very rare gems of actual interesting people I've met (and for the occasional comic relief of absolutely absurd messages/profiles).


I've definitely stayed in some conversations for too long out of sheer boredom/for comic relief

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 5:58 pm 
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I almost always respond when 19 year olds message me. I can't help myself from responding with "you know that I'm old enough to be your mom, right?"

Listen boys, I'm not a cougar. Yet.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 6:07 pm 
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The 45 year olds scare me. They're old enough to be my father.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 6:08 pm 
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sweet_potato wrote:
The 45 year olds scare me. They're old enough to be my father.

trade ya!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 6:19 pm 
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I had a 42 year old message me during the five seconds I had an OkC profile. He didn't like that I had answered a question saying Id prefer a prospective partner had had some sort of relationship before. It was basically a essay long email about how I must be snooty and I'm going to be missing out on really great guys like him and how he is a really nice guy and how it's unfair I won't give him a chance just because I have my own opinions. (Note: ridiculous run on sentence was on purpose Hahahaha cause that's how his message was).

I have no idea how he came across my profile, but I deleted it not too long after that.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 6:37 pm 
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Since making my profile I have only had one person message me, and they like in California! They're just messaging to chat. He's nice, but, um. Ugh.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 5:24 pm 
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I find it weird that some people are on OKC just to make friends. And when they're in a relationship it creeps me out even more.

Also, the dreaded "what brings you to OKC?" question. Why is anybody on OKC?

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 8:45 pm 
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sweet_potato wrote:
Also, the dreaded "what brings you to OKC?" question. Why is anybody on OKC?

Ooh I haven't gotten that one yet. Definitely wouldn't respond to that message.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 9:04 pm 
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I've gotten it way too many times to count.

By the way, I'm also in the Albany area :)

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 9:15 pm 
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sweet_potato wrote:
By the way, I'm also in the Albany area :)

Ooh hi! :)

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 3:11 am 
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sweet_potato wrote:
I find it weird that some people are on OKC just to make friends. And when they're in a relationship it creeps me out even more.

Also, the dreaded "what brings you to OKC?" question. Why is anybody on OKC?


Some people might be new to an area and finding it difficult to meet people IRL. Some people might want to make friends first with the potential for something later, but not want to feel rushed into anything. Some people just enjoy the process of meeting and getting to know new people, even once they're in a relationship. There are a lot of reasons why someone might be on OKC just to make friends. When I was on there, I put that I was looking for a LTR, a STR, and friendship, because I wanted to leave all potentialities open and didn't want to approach each date with that pressure of figuring out if this was "the one". And I met enough interesting people that I considered leaving up my profile once I got into a relationship and just changing my status and "looking for". I also noticed a lot of people got totally involved in the community aspect of it too and found it a good place to post their thoughts in an anonymous forum. So while the primary market for OKC is people looking for love/sex, I discovered that there was more to it than meets the eye.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 5:21 pm 
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Craaaaap. Stupid "visitors" on OKC. I was looking @ deleting messages from my ex that are in my inbox and I clicked the wrong part and went to her profile. I didn't meant to dooooo that.

Should I apologize or just ignore? I will look desperate! She may have already blocked me anyway, but she still shows up in my matches, currently.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 5:35 pm 
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lycophyte wrote:
Craaaaap. Stupid "visitors" on OKC. I was looking @ deleting messages from my ex that are in my inbox and I clicked the wrong part and went to her profile. I didn't meant to dooooo that.

Should I apologize or just ignore? I will look desperate! She may have already blocked me anyway, but she still shows up in my matches, currently.


If you guys don't talk at all anymore, I don't think you need to apologize. Just don't worry about it and you'll both forget it happened.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 5:38 pm 
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Well, here I am. Unwisely flirting with strangers on the internet...

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 6:05 pm 
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strawberryrock wrote:
lycophyte wrote:
Craaaaap. Stupid "visitors" on OKC. I was looking @ deleting messages from my ex that are in my inbox and I clicked the wrong part and went to her profile. I didn't meant to dooooo that.

Should I apologize or just ignore? I will look desperate! She may have already blocked me anyway, but she still shows up in my matches, currently.


If you guys don't talk at all anymore, I don't think you need to apologize. Just don't worry about it and you'll both forget it happened.


Yeah. Hah, I now got a paid account, to keep that from happening in the future. For the time being. Mostly I wanted to change my account name, because it was named after my AIM account from 1997. So olden days.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 6:07 pm 
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Maybe she won't even realize its me! Well, until she follows the link to my profile.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 6:25 pm 
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Gulliver wrote:
Well, here I am. Unwisely flirting with strangers on the internet...


Oh no! Did you and your bf break up?

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 6:44 pm 
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Yeah, we have come to the conclusion that we are have just been friends for a long time and it was time to formalise the fact. We've broken up very amicably, but it's still sad.

So now I'm chatting to lovely strangers on the lovely internet and I feel all young and squeeish.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 6:56 pm 
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Gulliver wrote:
Yeah, we have come to the conclusion that we are have just been friends for a long time and it was time to formalise the fact. We've broken up very amicably, but it's still sad.

So now I'm chatting to lovely strangers on the lovely internet and I feel all young and squeeish.



Awww, well I'm glad it was amicable.
I now have a new OKC name. lover_n_a_phyter

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