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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 1:36 am 
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Congrats tofulish!!!


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 1:57 am 
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wow, tofulish, congratulations, i can't imagine what its like to know even before your period was due! I send good thoughts that you and your little one will be meeting in 36 weeks.

I am actually expecting again, i am due in late December, the midwife is saying the 25th, but if we make it that far, i think we wont be meeting a baby until january. I'll be turning 40 in November so every time i see the midwives, i feel like i get a double edged, its usually fine, but if it goes bad it will be very bad talk. I lost a baby in December and i had a very very rough first trimester, so i am looking forward to things starting to quiet down.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 2:39 am 
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oh wow congratulations jildez, big fingers crossed for smooth sailing in the latter part of your pregnancy!

also, the idea of Leela as an older sibling is pretty much too awesome for words....


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 3:45 am 
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Ooh, Jildez, congratulations!

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 6:22 am 
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Congratulations Jildez! So exciting. I hope I will be able to post on this thread soon too!


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 7:17 am 
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Oh jildez, I am so sorry things have been so rough for you and my condolences for your loss in December. I hope you feel better soon and that the later part of your pregnancy is uneventful and easy. Is there any particular reason you are getting the double-edged talk?

Sending you lots of congratulations on your pregnancy (how exciting to have a holiday baby!) and lots of good thoughts for your pregnancy <3 <3 <3

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 4:30 pm 
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Congrats jildez and tofulish!


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 4:47 pm 
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Congratulations Tofulish! I can't wait to see what mischief Leela teaches her younger sib! :) (Hugs)

Jildez, I'm sorry for your loss and hope the bad stuff is behind you. So often in pregnancy, numbers are just numbers. (As an example, haven't most pregnant people been told they're gaining too much, too little, or both? And gone on to have beautiful, healthy babies?) So I hope you have sound information and laugh off excessive scaremongering. Wishing you a lovely journey and a joyful birth in good time.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 5:29 pm 
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congratulations Tofulish and jildez sorry you both had been feeling unwell, and hope you have great improvements in wellbeing as you go on through the pregnancy!

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 6:11 pm 
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So part of the reason why I posted that I am pregnant, even though we are in the "Really-likely-not-to-work-out-stage" is that I just wanted to process a bit with people. I am technically at 6 weeks pregnant, and I've had early losses bc of low progesterone before. The only reason why we have L is because they caught the low progesterone on my tests (I had weekly blood tests and regular ultrasounds from 6 weeks preg (when they diagnosed the pregnancy) until 12 weeks because I was working with my fertility specialist), so its not unlikely that this pregnancy won't stick.

Its so weird to have a pregnancy surprise you after the last one was so carefully wanted and planned. We spent 2.5 years working to get pregnant with Leela and by the end of the process, I would have done absolutely anything to get pregnant. So now this pregnancy just happens and I have more mixed feelings. I feel like I am failing Leela, who should still get to be my baby. She breastfeeds constantly, and I hate the idea of her weaning earlier than she would want - last night she nursed from 2 am to 5 am and drank water in the middle, so I started getting paranoid about my milk drying up. And I worry that I am going to be too tired to be my best self with her and that I don't know how I am going to get more support to rest and take it easy. And I worry about the process - all the testing (esp as I will be 42 at delivery), being away from her during the birth and how I am going to take care of myself while also taking care of her. I had so many health problems after having her - six months of PT to fix my knee issues alone and this time around I don't have great insurance, so yikes the idea of having health stuff, a new baby and a toddler and not enough money and being under-insured and and and! I also don't want to stop co-sleeping with her, because it makes me so happy. I have a great baby whom I love so much, am I going to be able to love another one this much - will I love Leela less? What if the next baby is more of a challenge? But on the other hand, the idea of her having a sibling makes me so happy. I see all the PPK siblings and it seems to be such a wonderful experience. And we were talking about trying again in November anyway so this is just a few months earlier.

I know this is probably normal anxiety and stuff, but I feel slightly guilty for not being as over the moon as I was with Leela. And so many of our friends with infertility are still waiting for their babies and here I am lucky enough to be pregnant again. One of my friends has been trying for nine years now.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2013 10:29 pm 
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Wow congrats tofulish & jildez!!! Fingers crossed for things to go well for both of you!

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 2:45 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
She breastfeeds constantly, and I hate the idea of her weaning earlier than she would want - last night she nursed from 2 am to 5 am and drank water in the middle, so I started getting paranoid about my milk drying up.

I have a great baby whom I love so much, am I going to be able to love another one this much - will I love Leela less?

I nursed Beet all through my pregnancy with Raygold (and Beet nursed a LOT), the only thing that happened ws that he got really runny poos once my breastmilk turned into colostrum.

Also, you will love your new baby as much as Leela and you won't love Leela any less. I was really afraid I wouldn't love Raygold as much as I loved Beet -- how could I love anyone else that much? but I do! I could never choose a favourite between my kids, they are all so special. you will feel the same way!! <3

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 8:18 am 
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Oh, Tofulish! I have no idea what it's like to be worrying about #2, but I feel like the fact that you are worried and concerned about Leela proves that you will love her no less! One of my favorite quotes that I keep in the back of my mind is "sorrow shared is halved, but happiness shared is doubled." I feel like the same has to be true for love. Hugs as you work through these emotions (and extra snuggles with Leela wouldn't hurt!) <3

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 8:20 am 
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This is just me being nosy, but will you get progesterone shots this time? Or do they just monitor your levels and intervene if necessary?

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 8:37 am 
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Congrats to tofulish & jildez! Yay for more ppk babies!

And tofulish, I'm really happy I told everyone early. The ppk really saved me after I was devastated by my previous loss and it was really amazing to have everyone's support when things weren't going great during the first trimester of my pregnancy with Silas. There's no way I could have hid all of that emotion from people without looking crazy anyway, haha.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 10:56 am 
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Congratulations tofulish and jildez! I'm so thrilled for both of you and sending good thoughts your way.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 11:45 am 
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kdub wrote:
This is just me being nosy, but will you get progesterone shots this time? Or do they just monitor your levels and intervene if necessary?


I am not under the care of an RE/fertility specialist at the moment, so I was thinking about just riding it out and seeing how it goes. If I see spotting or bleeding, I might take False Unicorn root and moxibustion, which is what I did for Leela, when my progesterone levels were low.

It seems like medical professionals are so different - my RE and midwife both told me that they don't give progesterone to maintain a pregnancy before 12 weeks, but another friend had a threatened miscarriage and got progesterone suppositories from her midwife and was able to maintain the pregnancy.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 3:07 pm 
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Tofulish wrote:
Its so weird to have a pregnancy surprise you after the last one was so carefully wanted and planned. We spent 2.5 years working to get pregnant with Leela and by the end of the process, I would have done absolutely anything to get pregnant. So now this pregnancy just happens and I have more mixed feelings. I feel like I am failing Leela, who should still get to be my baby. She breastfeeds constantly, and I hate the idea of her weaning earlier than she would want - last night she nursed from 2 am to 5 am and drank water in the middle, so I started getting paranoid about my milk drying up. And I worry that I am going to be too tired to be my best self with her and that I don't know how I am going to get more support to rest and take it easy. And I worry about the process - all the testing (esp as I will be 42 at delivery), being away from her during the birth and how I am going to take care of myself while also taking care of her. I had so many health problems after having her - six months of PT to fix my knee issues alone and this time around I don't have great insurance, so yikes the idea of having health stuff, a new baby and a toddler and not enough money and being under-insured and and and! I also don't want to stop co-sleeping with her, because it makes me so happy. I have a great baby whom I love so much, am I going to be able to love another one this much - will I love Leela less? What if the next baby is more of a challenge? But on the other hand, the idea of her having a sibling makes me so happy. I see all the PPK siblings and it seems to be such a wonderful experience. And we were talking about trying again in November anyway so this is just a few months earlier.



If you go back and find my first post about my pregnancy with the Magician, I think it's this almost word for word. E was a really, really, really wanted and orchestrated pregnancy; M just took us by surprise. I was not only ambivalent about it initially, I was outright upset. It felt like, things are finally really going right with E, who I love so much, and now we're going to shake everything up again and it's all going to go to shiitake and aaaaaaaaaah.

But you know what? Everything I was worried about worked itself out. Everything.

It has been especially interesting to me to find that I love and like both of them equally. I am... the sort of person who has favorites in things. And I absolutely could not conceive of anyone being as wonderful as the Emperor is other than him. I was sure that I was going to have to spend the rest of my life quietly and secretly not liking M as much but pretending that I did. And that's not the case... I love and like him just as much, in a totally different way. It's amazing. It surprises me constantly.

ETA: oh, and I wanted to add... I don't think it's been a bad thing for the Emperor to lose his position as the absolute center of my universe. It's good for him to have to think about a second person, consider the needs of a second person, etc. I don't want him to grow up into the sort of person who doesn't think about those sorts of things. A sibling is good practice for caring about other people.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 3:32 pm 
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Thanks for posting that c&s! These are many of the thoughts that have been rattling around in my brain. I have always imagined having at least 2 children, but there are some days when K and I are talking about it, that I am sure that I can't love someone else as much as her. I love my husband and my family (especially my sisters) with a strong, unwavering love, but still I wasn't prepared for this all-encompassing, intertwined sort of thing that I have with Freya.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 3:46 pm 
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I'm glad to read other people's experiences! We really wanted and tried for another, but it's only very recently (I'm 23 weeks now) that I haven't been feeling like having a second kid is the worst mistake in the world. I'm still terrified, but more excited and optimistic now. So I really think all those concerns are totally valid! We've been struggling with them as well.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2013 12:51 pm 
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Its really interesting isn't it? I feel like I really appreciate how far Leela has come from being a baby and how wonderful she is now. She woke me up with Eskimo kisses this morning and she sleeps through the night for the most part and wakes up dry. I definitely don't miss the constant waking and diaper changes! But I also see how much she loves other children, and I bet she is going to love having a built-in playmate. My mother definitely played favorites, so its kind of scary to think about going down that road, because it was just so mean, and its good to know that so many people love their children equally.

Its also really interesting going through the physical changes a second time and knowing what they are.

And my doula is coming out of retirement to be my doula again, which is awesome because I puffy heart love her forever.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2013 2:16 pm 
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Wow I haven't been in this thread forever (so busy at work, I don't go on the internet much at home) and it is really interesting to skim through all the changes! Congratulations tofulish! I remember reading when so many of you had babies and going through similar things, so it is really something to see everyone having more babies and how it is going for you all.

It is a bit hard though because we've tried a few times to have baby #2 and it isn't happening. Whereas with Kai, it only took 1 time when I was 37. At this point I think it is a pretty forgone conclusion we're not having another and that is a little hard.

I think I'm actually going through peri-menopause. My last couple periods have been 23 days instead of the normal 28 I always was. The last one was also super heavy. These are apparently huge signs of peri-menopause. My mom told me she had the same thing and was totally done by 42. I'm 40.5. I'm actually adopted so I can't quite go with that as far as following after my mom, but considering that women have periods in cycle with whatever close females are around, I think it makes sense I may follow her cycle even though we are not genetically related.

I guess I can still get pregnant even in peri-menopause but I don't want to stress about it. Plus, really I just don't want to have a baby at 41. I personally feel too old. I wish I had met my husband earlier but it is what it is. I'm just trying to be thankful for the awesome kid I have and hope the best for his future.

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2013 2:29 pm 
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Aubade wrote:
I just don't want to have a baby at 41. I personally feel too old.


I hear this a lot from people, especially because I had L at 40 and will be 42 at delivery if this pregnancy works out. I personally feel like age is just a number (kind of like weight) - its not a proxy for how risky your pregnancy will be, much life you have left or even for the kind of health situation you find yourself in. I think its useful to look at your personal situation and make the decision based on that, rather than on an arbitrary number. And many of the age related risks are easy to manage with current medical testing. I had L at 40, and my midwife was great at reminding me that in NJ birthing in your 40s isn't even uncommon any longer.

Have you been to a health professional to figure out what is going on and whether you are in peri-menopause? I know that for us, we tried for a year and a half, with my OB saying there was nothing wrong, I was just older and so we just had to keep trying. And then I found our awesome RE who identified the cause of my infertility and helped correct it. If we hadn't gone to her (on the recommendation of a friend - my OB never thought there was anything wrong with me), we would probably have never gotten pregnant, and would just have assumed it was because of my age. Our RE is Dr Caryn Selick in NYC if you are looking for someone amazing!

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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2013 3:05 pm 
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FWIW, I still have some regrets having more children after my first, even now that I've had nearly 5 months to adjust to having the twins. BUT, I did have twins when I already had a 2 year old. And even though this is pretty much the hardest thing I've ever done, I'm still actually doing a bit better than I did when my first was a baby. I had PPD with baby #1, but I have not been as down after having the twins. I think the second time around, I've been better at recognizing when things are getting scary and know when to ask for help. I am often still overwhelmed, but I also know better how to cope with those feelings. And I'm pretty sure the adjustment would have been a lot easier if I'd had a singleton for my 2nd pregnancy.

But I still do really love all 3 children despite all that-- I miss them all so much at night when they are all asleep in their own rooms.


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 Post subject: Re: Pregnancy Updates Thread
PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2013 3:24 pm 
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My mother had her last child in her forties and that was 26 years ago. It was a perfectly healthy pregnancy despite the fact that she had breast cancer during her previous term pregnancy and had had three miscarriages (one late). It was actually her first term pregnancy (me) that had the most pregnancy related drama. I think every pregnancy is unique and every woman's health is unique. 42 is too late for some, but just the right moment for others. (And I was actually the youngest birther in my family in three generations at 31! Sometimes I think I didn't wait long enough. I wouldn't say my twenties were model health years and maybe I would've had my hypoglycemia, my career, and my life in general under better control in a couple more years.)


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