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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Thu Aug 22, 2013 4:44 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Desdemona, I am so very sorry for your losses. I hope you are getting lots of love and support <3

Sending lots of good thoughts to everyone in this thread <3

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Thu Aug 22, 2013 6:52 pm 
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Kfad, I hope the cop car is gone and you are doing better. I can understand how that could be triggering. I also hope your neighbors are ok.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Thu Aug 22, 2013 7:28 pm 
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It is gone. I am better.
I do worry, and I have worried that the gal that lives next door is the victim of domestic violence. I just don't have any sort of relationship with her to offer help.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Aug 23, 2013 1:59 pm 
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***LIES!!!***
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Oy Desdemona, I am so sorry for your loss. Illness is so unfair.

We buried someone in the community this summer who died at 60 from complications of a 25-year illness (really) and even though he'd been sick for forever and had spent most of the past two years in the hospital, the reaction everyone had was just complete disbelief, like someone who seems vibrant and interesting and fun to be around and young is simply not allowed to die.

Today the worst thing is that I am suffering extreme writer's block, induced by extreme deadline panic as well as extreme imposter's syndrome. I do not know why I chose a job that involved so much public speaking in front of sometimes giant audiences, nor do I know why I accepted a promotion that involves even more public speaking.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Aug 23, 2013 2:39 pm 
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Remembers When Veganism Was Cool
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kfad wrote:
It is gone. I am better.
I do worry, and I have worried that the gal that lives next door is the victim of domestic violence. I just don't have any sort of relationship with her to offer help.


Help doesn't always have to be something that you deliver personally.

If you suspect domestic violence than perhaps it's an option to find a leaflet or brochure of a local support group or something like that, or print out a page from the internet that says what domestic violence is and where women can find help for that locally and put it in their mailbox.

That way, even though you can't offer help, you did something and even something like that can be a (decisive) push in the right direction for such a person.

(just make sure they don't see you putting it in their mailbox to avoid awkward moments)


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Aug 23, 2013 2:41 pm 
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The same thing which has been bothering me since I got to the Amazon region 3 weeks ago! There are so many really unhealthy-looking stray dogs here, and people just don't seem to notice or care. They have so many obvious problems with disease, lack of food and shelter, fleas and other easily-resolved things, and I feel helpless to do anything for them.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Aug 23, 2013 6:00 pm 
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Super bummed about a decision on my license appeal. Not sure if I should even bother anymore or just move on. Unfortunately, I feel like without it I'm less than or something. Ridiculous but there ya go.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Aug 23, 2013 8:10 pm 
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(spoiler-tagged for transphobia triggers)

Spoiler: show
A friend posted the statement "I don't even know one trans[gender person] who died of natural causes" on Facebook. I usually try to avoid getting worked up over stuff I read on Facebook, but that statement made me realize that none of the transgender or genderqueer people I have known, who are now dead, died of natural causes either. I can't even think of a single instance of knowing about any transgender person who died of natural causes, even people I don't know personally, and I'm really racking my brain here. It was like a punch in the gut when I read it, I thought I was going to throw up. I still might. It's not even that I'm afraid for my own life personally, though I guess maybe I should be? It's that I have so many people that I love who are transgender, too, and I don't really even want to live in a world that they're not safe in.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Aug 23, 2013 8:47 pm 
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I forked up at work and I know my boss is going to chew me out for it on Monday. It was an honest mistake that could have happened to anyone, but it's going to cost him almost $500 and he's going to be pissed. I'm thinking about offering to pay it back out of my check, but the two coworkers I mentioned that to thought I was nuts. So, I don't know.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Aug 23, 2013 8:52 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Don't do that! It sets a terrible precedent, and if it was an honest mistake that could have happened to anyone, then you're making it look way worse than it was. Honest mistakes are part of the cost of doing business!

CQ that is terrible and I am sending you tons of love and hugs. <3

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Aug 23, 2013 9:12 pm 
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choirqueer wrote:
(spoiler-tagged for transphobia triggers)

Spoiler: show
A friend posted the statement "I don't even know one trans[gender person] who died of natural causes" on Facebook. I usually try to avoid getting worked up over stuff I read on Facebook, but that statement made me realize that none of the transgender or genderqueer people I have known, who are now dead, died of natural causes either. I can't even think of a single instance of knowing about any transgender person who died of natural causes, even people I don't know personally, and I'm really racking my brain here. It was like a punch in the gut when I read it, I thought I was going to throw up. I still might. It's not even that I'm afraid for my own life personally, though I guess maybe I should be? It's that I have so many people that I love who are transgender, too, and I don't really even want to live in a world that they're not safe in.


I know someone! She died well into her old age, she was a family friend and someone active in the city I grew up in. I know it is a rough world out there but your fate is what you make it.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Aug 23, 2013 9:15 pm 
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Hugs Choirqueer, you must have had just an awful day, I'm so sorry - just, hugs.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Aug 24, 2013 1:00 am 
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I'm missing my BFF so much. She's been gone since mid June. And probably won't be back for another month. Part of wonders if she'll actually come back at all. She's the person I love more than anyone else in the world right now. I feel like part of myself is missing when she's gone. /tragicbromance

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Aug 24, 2013 2:00 am 
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ashley wrote:
I forked up at work and I know my boss is going to chew me out for it on Monday. It was an honest mistake that could have happened to anyone, but it's going to cost him almost $500 and he's going to be pissed. I'm thinking about offering to pay it back out of my check, but the two coworkers I mentioned that to thought I was nuts. So, I don't know.


Do not pay for it yourself. Every one screws up at work sometimes and an employee shouldn't have to pay (in dollars) for it.

I don't know what you do, but at my office it sometimes happens that we pay a $ 1,000 bill Twice, and we'll make a few calls to get our money back, but sometimes we don't.

I remember two years ago a tenant got his/her deposit back twice, (2x 3,000) so eventually we had to write off 1x 3,000. Nobody paid for that mistake, not in dollars, and not in another way.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Aug 24, 2013 5:32 am 
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mustard BBC TV licensing company and their poor hired shmo who got an earful from me when he hand delivered their threatening letter (they normally send their letters telling me I'm going to get huge fines and that I'm breaking the law by post. That I've told them several times I don't have a TV, that when I had a TV I paid for a license and if I ever get one again I will do the same have absolutely no impact on their monolithic, relentless and offensive stupidity, it would seem).

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Aug 24, 2013 6:07 am 
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I had to get up 45-60 minutes earlier than I should have because my lovely, darling boyfriend is on rare occasion a pain in the asparagus. He needs at least 90 minutes to wake up and be ready to leave (why, I don't know, most of that time is spent slowly drinking coffee and looking at the internet. I've just accepted it now) and I only need 30 (get dressed, eat, wash up, go). But he wasn't moving his asparagus out of bed so I pushed him out and got up with him... we are getting picked up in at 8am to go to NH for some climbing and I don't want to make our ride wait since it's a guy I've never met. It's cute that my dude wants to snuggle with me and stay in bed, but I'm not the one that needs to dink around for an extra hour before we leave. I hate mornings and being up early... pout.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Aug 24, 2013 6:33 am 
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Pi, my guy is the same. When I last came down to the city I had to catch a 5:30 am train. It's a 20 minute drive to the station. What time does he have to get up? 3:30!

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Aug 24, 2013 12:38 pm 
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Veg_Eric wrote:
ashley wrote:
I forked up at work and I know my boss is going to chew me out for it on Monday. It was an honest mistake that could have happened to anyone, but it's going to cost him almost $500 and he's going to be pissed. I'm thinking about offering to pay it back out of my check, but the two coworkers I mentioned that to thought I was nuts. So, I don't know.


Do not pay for it yourself. Every one screws up at work sometimes and an employee shouldn't have to pay (in dollars) for it.

I don't know what you do, but at my office it sometimes happens that we pay a $ 1,000 bill Twice, and we'll make a few calls to get our money back, but sometimes we don't.

I remember two years ago a tenant got his/her deposit back twice, (2x 3,000) so eventually we had to write off 1x 3,000. Nobody paid for that mistake, not in dollars, and not in another way.

Just out of curiosity, what other non-monetary way would an employee pay for a mistake? Extra work hours? Because that basically equates to money too.

I'm salaried but I still have an 8-5 mindset. It drives my boss crazy, like I owe him extra time or something.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Aug 24, 2013 12:48 pm 
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Mistakes happen though and most companies write them off.

It should fall to your boss to offer suggestions, if he is unwilling to write it off, on how to resolve the situation. But it should not be your responsibility to pay it back in cash. Please, don't offer it.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Aug 24, 2013 12:56 pm 
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the way i read was that the employee might have to "pay" by dealing with a grumpy boss, or having to find a solution, not actually pay with money or any equivalent.

running a business involves risk. mistakes happen and have to be written off. luckily your mistake was just a financial loss to the company and not a loss of life or limb (these mistakes also happen as part of work, people feel terrible, but they're still honest mistakes, like you said). The boss will chew you out, and you will remember and hopefully never make the same mistake again.
i also think that you paying it back, in any way, is not a fair solution. [and remember: there may be some solution to this problem that you haven't considered. suggested reading by de Maupassant: http://www.bartleby.com/195/20.html ]
I can only hope that you accidentally ordered $500 worth of animal onesies that can't be returned.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Aug 24, 2013 1:07 pm 
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My worst thing is from yesterday, but I carried the hurt of it through to today.

I had spent two days giving home health care to a friend, who had been in a car accident and was not okay to be alone. I did so under the umbrella of my herbalism business. I wrote the invoice (per request from the lawyers secretary). When they interviewed with the lawyer he said he would not even going to submit the invoice because the herbal business is not real care.

I had not realized how much I was looking to that money for the funds I need to really get things moving on the business. I sort of feel like this is a dream that everyone else thinks is silly and that I need to give up.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Aug 24, 2013 8:37 pm 
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This post mentions suicide, please be safe
Spoiler: show
I learned today that a young woman I was supervisor to has died by suicide. She had been very unwell, called an ambulance for herself, but the psych ward had no beds and sent her home, the next day she hung herself in her backyard. I had given my notice and left my job - on good terms this past January to care for my own declining mental health. I felt very ...well, I was accused by my own boss of being too much of a mother/nurturing type to those young women, I cared very deeply for their well being . I wish I had stayed in my job now, although that's no guarantee I could have changed anything. My husband said, that job was destroying your mental health, your first responsibility is to yourself, then to me and then to our girls(our kitties). He's right, but I admit I wish I'd had more time with her. Mine could be a cold and brutally insensitive workplace, I was proud of my big softie reputation. It's just very, very sad. She was only in her early twenties. I'm a wee bit drunk at the moment to blunt my feelings, so I'm sure my 3am will be quite awful. I'm just very sad, but right now just occupying myself to not think or feel
Thank you PPK for providing me a place to put this. I will be okay.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Aug 24, 2013 8:52 pm 
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*hugs* Jean. I'm so sorry.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Aug 24, 2013 8:56 pm 
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I am so sorry Jean. That is so terrible. I hope you can get some support for yourself through your grief and your processing.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Aug 24, 2013 9:13 pm 
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Oh Jean, that is heart breaking. You seem like such a sweet, caring, giving person. Please do not blame yourself. Your husband is right, but I'm sure that doesn't make it any easier. If you want to talk in more detail, feel free to pm me. I unfortunately have some past experiences sort of related to your situation.

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