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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Aug 30, 2013 1:27 pm 
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Violin player hottie is messaging me and I....can't help it. He's attractive, taller than me (IMPORTANT) and has subbed in the MN Orch! Given that I am an advanced, professional violin player, could this be a match made in heavne? Tune in next time, which will likely take about a week and a half since that's how long it took him to reply last time. Hmph. I like busy men though...

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Aug 30, 2013 1:57 pm 
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I also get weirded out thoroughly when people seem too eager, and also tend to be attracted to more aloof or busy men... but the drawback to that is once I actually start the crushing onto someone, I want them to be as eager as humanely possible.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Aug 30, 2013 2:04 pm 
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Bathes in Braggs
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Going out for drinks-potential-dinner-if-things-go-well tonight with a new guy. Iiiiiiiiiieeee.....


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Aug 30, 2013 3:12 pm 
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Love this thread :) is really an eye opener... It makes me want to smile out of joy and kind of cry out of frustration.
I mean it is really amazing that you girls actually want to meet us guys and get exited about it, I could never imagine that. It is really cool :D

On the other hand after being an active member of okcupid for 7 years, spending hours trying to improve my profile and lots and lots of more hours reading profiles and doing my best sending personalized messages... ...and so far being able to get with all this time and effort only 8 dates.... crying is probably a little to extreme... but surely it makes me want to scream out loud a couple of words that would not make my mum very proud :-P


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Aug 30, 2013 11:28 pm 
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I just had SUCH a good impromptu hangout with a guy from okc! We had only been exchanging messages for a couple days, then we chatted for a bit on Facebook tonight. Then I was just like "Hey, what are you doing? Do you want to take a walk?" because it was just kind of silly that we were IMing each other instead of hanging out when we had obviously clicked and we live only a few blocks from each other. I don't usually meet people so soon-- especially at like 9:30pm in a non-public place-- but we have a couple mutual friends and I got really good vibes.

Anyway, we walked around the city for about 2 hours and really connected. And he's insanely adorable. And mostly vegan. Score!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sat Aug 31, 2013 6:44 am 
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So I ended up in bed with Stood Me Up But Is Actually Nice man. I fully intended a chaste pyjama-wearing evening, but that didn't happen. I kinda hope I'll see him again. He's sweet.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Sep 03, 2013 10:36 am 
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takecare wrote:
I just had SUCH a good impromptu hangout with a guy from okc! We had only been exchanging messages for a couple days, then we chatted for a bit on Facebook tonight. Then I was just like "Hey, what are you doing? Do you want to take a walk?" because it was just kind of silly that we were IMing each other instead of hanging out when we had obviously clicked and we live only a few blocks from each other. I don't usually meet people so soon-- especially at like 9:30pm in a non-public place-- but we have a couple mutual friends and I got really good vibes.

Anyway, we walked around the city for about 2 hours and really connected. And he's insanely adorable. And mostly vegan. Score!

I have a super-crush on this guy. I haven't seen him since ^ that night, but we have been texting every day. Hopefully I'll be seeing him tomorrow for kitten hangouts.

Total. Dreamboat.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Sep 03, 2013 10:40 am 
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Aw! So sweet takecare. He sounds really lovely.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Sep 03, 2013 11:01 am 
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lutin wrote:
Aw! So sweet takecare. He sounds really lovely.

Yes! And he seems equally excited about me, which is... exciting!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Sep 03, 2013 1:28 pm 
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Is this behavior normal? The last three dates I've gone on, when we talk the next day, the guy tells me that he had a really great time, but if this is going to continue, we have to date exclusively.
Seriously? After one date? I'm not looking to see how many guys I can rack up here, but isn't that a little premature? I feel bad; all these guys seemed really nice, but that behavior makes me nervous and turns me off a bit. Is this normal?


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Sep 03, 2013 2:04 pm 
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I don't know? "Normal" is different for everyone. I made it pretty clear in my profile that I was interested in a long term exclusive thing, and wouldn't be interested in doing much physical stuff without being exclusive (because I am a hypochondriac when it comes to STI's). The guy I am currently seeing said he wanted a period to figure stuff out, which is fine, but I made sure he knew I was only interested in continuing with something that had long term potential, not just screwing around. After 2 "dates" = long weekends hanging out, he was sure, which is awesome for me because it meant I didn't have to think about how long was too long.............but yeah, I don't know what to do about the problem in reverse. Had you talked about that at all pre-meeting? Or can you tell him/them eventually you're interested in the same, but right now, you need the chance to figure stuff out?

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Sep 03, 2013 2:10 pm 
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It doesn't seem normal to me, flavabean, in fact it sounds like a warning signal. Who would even think it was okay to demand that?


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Sep 03, 2013 2:14 pm 
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I don't think it's normal at all. The earliest I've ever had that talk was a month in, and that was super early. I feel like 2-3 months is more normal.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Sep 03, 2013 2:27 pm 
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I'd be turned off by that too. Unless there was some mutual cosmic connection where you both knew absolutely that you wanted to be together, I don't see any reason why a commitment to be exclusive should happen after one date. If you are sleeping with them, I think it's okay for them to request that you only sleep with them, for the sake of physical safety/health, (and it would be okay too, of course, for you to tell them no), but agreeing to date exclusively after one date is a bit much.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Sep 03, 2013 3:11 pm 
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Bathes in Braggs
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Ok, thank you all for confirming what I really thought I already knew. It just seems weird that this hasn't happen just once, but the past THREE guys have told me this (saying stuff like "I'm an all-or-nothing guy" and "I'm not going to compete for you"), and then they've all gotten incredibly defensive the second that I hesitate.

I think the conclusion is that I need to find better men.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 2:40 pm 
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flavabean just start singing "YOU AIN'T GON' TIE ME DOWN..." that New Boyz song.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 8:40 am 
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Yay! Violin-playing hottie and I are going on a date! Score :)

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 12:16 pm 
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I know I live in a different dating culture to y'all, but that just sounds like they don't want to be messed around. That doesn't sound too odd to me. I think it's much nicer than the alternative.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 6:37 am 
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I keep getting messages from weirdos. Like christian fundamentalists and pescetarians. Why would you message anyone who is rated like 75% your enemy? It's a bit funny, but mostly confusing.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 9:20 am 
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Love Child wrote:
I keep getting messages from weirdos. Like christian fundamentalists and pescetarians. Why would you message anyone who is rated like 75% your enemy? It's a bit funny, but mostly confusing.

I get messages CONSTANTLY from dudes who I have like a 6% match with. i don't want to have such a huge belief in the powers of the algorithm, but when I check out these dudes and look at how they answered some of the questions, its very very clear why our enemy match is 5x higher than our match, and I just don't understand why they are even bothering to send me a message. Surely they can't sincerely be interested in dating someone with a 6% match.

BUT, I did recently send a message to someone who hadn't answered any questions so we had a 0% match. Normally I wouldn't have messaged him because I like to know what I'm getting into... but I did... and we have been hanging out some, and he's adorable and awesome. So, 6% never works (I feel okay about that blanket statement), but 0% does...sometimes.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 9:01 pm 
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So I was curious what they most expensive item tagged as Vegan on Ebay would be - look what I found:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/VeganSingle-com ... 3ccb1eed11


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 1:45 am 
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I smell a PPK business venturrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 10:43 am 
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flavabean wrote:
...we have to date exclusively. Seriously? After one date? ... Is this normal?

I don't think it's normal either, but you never know someone else's dating experience. Maybe bring up that it seems pretty early to talk about that. Mention that you're after something long term, but don't want to close options down based on one date. I'm guessing you'll be able to tell from his reaction if he's clingy/defensive or if he's just reacting to having been cheated on/screwed around with before. Dating expectations vary so much. Especially if someone hasn't dated a lot.

3 in a row could be coincidence, but maybe you're meeting guys in the wrong place?


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Sep 16, 2013 2:17 pm 
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People with 90% enemy exist on OKCupid. How? Are they, like, space Nazis?

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Sep 16, 2013 3:29 pm 
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Gulliver wrote:
People with 90% enemy exist on OKCupid. How? Are they, like, space Nazis?


You made me curious about the enemy thing and it seems that online now there are 14 persons in the world who are 99% enemies with me... 8 of them with 0% match and 0% friends...

I'm curious to send them a message to see what happens :-P


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