| Register  | FAQ  | Search | Login 
It is currently Wed Apr 16, 2014 12:13 am

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 22 posts ] 

Adopt?
Poll ended at Sun Oct 21, 2012 10:43 am
I would adopt. 62%  62%  [ 28 ]
I would not adopt. 9%  9%  [ 4 ]
Not sure if I would adopt. 24%  24%  [ 11 ]
I have adopted. 4%  4%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 45
Author Message
 Post subject: Adopt?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 10:43 am 
Tofu Pup
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2012 9:38 am
Posts: 2
Location: Louisville, KY
Anyone here have an opinion about adopting? I have a history of mental issues in my family and wonder if adopting would be the better option for me and my peace of mind that I wouldn't be passing that on.

Not planing on adopting or having a kid any time soon, but thinking what other vegans think. (Ideas on overpopulation?)


Top
 Profile WWW  
 
 Post subject: Re: Adopt?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 10:55 am 
Lactose Intolerant...Literally
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Sun Jun 03, 2012 10:17 am
Posts: 724
Location: Toronto
I'd like to adopt whenever I get to the stage of my life where kids seems like a good idea (that is still a very far way off). I dunno, it just seems like there's a lot of children who need caretakers and, though I don't have major health problems in my family history, I don't think there's anything exceptionally special in my genes that -needs- to be passed down, so why pop out more kids?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Adopt?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 11:16 am 
Invented Vegan Meringue
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 2:46 pm
Posts: 3813
Location: 5 mi east of philly
i probably won't ever have kids in my house, but if that ever changes, i'd adopt an older kid. (or at least foster.)

_________________
I solved it for once and for all -- and for everyone -- by intentionally leaving behind some 9-lives burritos... ~Lorelei4mc
supercarrot.com, vegan groupony things, vegan coupons


Top
 Profile WWW  
 
 Post subject: Re: Adopt?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 1:50 pm 
Should Write a Goddam Book Already
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2010 2:14 pm
Posts: 1033
Location: 'Burbs of California
It is very expensive to adopt compared to having a bio kid if you have health insurance and don't have fertility issues. My daughter cost us less than $150 in medical bills. By comparison, I've known people who have had to pay around 20k to adopt a child, which is apparently on the low side (according to http://www.theadoptionguide.com/cost/ar ... ption-cost). I love the idea of adoption, but that is a lot of money. I definitely would have considered adopting a second child rather than having another bio kid if the economics of it had been different.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Adopt?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 6:36 pm 
Thinks Plants Have Feelings
Offline

Joined: Sun Nov 21, 2010 1:45 pm
Posts: 67
We are an adoptive family. I think it's awesome!! Adoption can be expensive, it depends on a lot of different factors (private vs fostercare, etc). There is a adoption tax credit that you can take though which off-sets it somewhat.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Adopt?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 6:51 pm 
Kitchens Planning Manchester
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 4:12 pm
Posts: 2522
Location: MKE
Obviously it would depend on my life when I'm ready for kids, but I see a lot of kids in need of a home in my line of work,and that has made me really want to adopt or foster in the future...right now my sister is looking into how to start the process which is interesting

_________________
"I think I am going to turn into a chickpea." ~Dakini
Love is like a pineapple, sweet and undefinable ~ Piet Hein


Top
 Profile WWW  
 
 Post subject: Re: Adopt?
PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 3:56 pm 
Has it on Blue Vinyl
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2011 7:44 pm
Posts: 2096
I voted not sure, but I am seriously considering it for the future.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Adopt?
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 10:20 am 
Inflexitarian
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2011 10:10 pm
Posts: 751
Location: Virginia, USA
I would have gone with adopting if DH had been okay with it and it was planned for similar reasons. (Lots of genes that can make life difficult for a kid, so far so good though)

_________________
Geeks make the world go 'round

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/GeekKnowledge


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Adopt?
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 11:19 am 
Should Write a Goddam Book Already
User avatar
Online

Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 12:16 pm
Posts: 1041
Location: ATX
I would adopt, my husband is not interested. Sigh.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Adopt?
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 11:32 am 
Spent a night at the Bates Motel
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:31 pm
Posts: 1993
Location: detroit, mi
My partner wants kids, I don't. I'm 26 years old and totally open to the idea that I may change my mind someday. If I did, I'd definitely go the adoption route. Mental illness runs strongly in my family, and I am no exception.

_________________
I'm still buddhist & I still love cupcakes.
My crochet blog! http://threadbythreadzen.blogspot.com


Top
 Profile WWW  
 
 Post subject: Re: Adopt?
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 11:38 am 
***LIES!!!***
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2012 4:10 pm
Posts: 3427
I think having a bio kid has made me more disposed toward adopting in the future. Before I worried about bonding with a kid I hadn't birthed and I also really wanted the experience of birthing and breastfeeding. Now that I've birthed a kid, a) the only real impetus for doing it again is just redeeming the first experience (and of course having another child), there wasn't much redeeming about birthing itself (or being pregnant or being postpartum), b) I may be doomed on the breastfeeding front anyway, so that's no longer a major consideration, and c) my child was a stranger to me at birth anyway - I loved her right away, but bonding took time, I don't know that it'd be so much different with a child I hadn't birthed. A friend of mine has two children adopted from South Korea and they're pretty much the happiest family I know, but she tells me about how her children grieved when they came here (as infants) and that kind of stuff does scare me.

I still think I'm not likely cut out for adopting an older child.

I also wouldn't want to do international adoption. I wouldn't care what race/ethnicity my child was (I hope), but I think the need is here and there's a fetishization of foreign-born kids (who obviously also need homes, but I don't know if Westerners adopting them is the sustainable solution to that problem). I'm also less worried about possible illegal/immoral termination of parental rights, but I don't know if I have any basis for that. A friend of mine is a social worker who does adoptions and she tells really depressing stories about people (of all races) who are willing to adopt African babies, but not perfectly healthy black American babies.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Adopt?
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 3:18 pm 
Should Spend More Time Helping the Animals
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 2:35 pm
Posts: 6417
Location: Norristown, PA
Ariann wrote:
A friend of mine is a social worker who does adoptions and she tells really depressing stories about people (of all races) who are willing to adopt African babies, but not perfectly healthy black American babies.


What is the deal with that? I mean, do they say why? I would be really interested to know what people's reasoning behind this is, since it doesn't make any sense at all to me.

_________________
Man, fork the gender card, imma come at you with the whole damned gender deck. - Olives
Did you ever think that, like, YOU are a sexy costume FOR a diva cup? - solipsistnation
blog! FB!


Top
 Profile WWW  
 
 Post subject: Re: Adopt?
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 3:23 pm 
Should Write a Goddam Book Already
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 9:34 pm
Posts: 1041
Location: chicagoland-ish suburbs
I love the idea of adopting, but I would say if you are doing it to circumvent genetics consider that you have no idea what the bio parents could pass on.

_________________
Gwyneth Paltrow: "I'm superstitious. Whenever I start a new movie I kill a hobo with a hammer."


Top
 Profile WWW  
 
 Post subject: Re: Adopt?
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 3:39 pm 
I Wanna Dip My Balls In It
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:37 pm
Posts: 3229
Location: idontevenknowanymore
I'm 100% all for it. and coincidentally not all that sure how fertile my boyzzz are.

_________________
reap/sow, risk/reward


Top
 Profile WWW  
 
 Post subject: Re: Adopt?
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 5:07 pm 
Invented Vegan Meringue
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 12:16 pm
Posts: 3687
Location: Panama City, Florida
ismloveyoubobbybrown wrote:
I love the idea of adopting, but I would say if you are doing it to circumvent genetics consider that you have no idea what the bio parents could pass on.


I think this is really important to remember.

_________________
etsy shop: teeny tiny tantrums
blog: vegan kid!


Top
 Profile WWW  
 
 Post subject: Re: Adopt?
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 5:39 pm 
Inflexitarian
Offline

Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:18 pm
Posts: 736
I had completely planned to adopt rather than have biological children. Then I spent 2 months with a pediatric psychiatrist doing inpatient and outpatient work. A huge percentage of his patient load were adopted or foster children and many of them had extremely severe emotional issues (even the ones who were adopted as very young children). I know that for myself (at least at this time in my life) I wouldn't be able to handle those kinds of issues. I suppose if I had access to medical history including mental health I might consider it because genes are strong influences.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Adopt?
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 6:26 pm 
Nooch of Earl
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:18 pm
Posts: 3377
Location: Bella Napoli
Like climbing Mount Everest, adopting children seems like a difficult and expensive thing that someone else might enjoy doing but really isn't for me.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Adopt?
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 8:38 pm 
Semen Strong
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 7:10 pm
Posts: 18627
Location: Cliffbar NJ
When I had fertility issues, a few of my friends urged me to adopt. And where I would have thought beforehand that I was completely open to adoption, I discovered that I really wanted a bio-kid. I loved the experience of being pregnant and birthing and I actually love having a bio-kid and seeing my partner and me in her.

Things change all the time, but at the moment, I would not adopt. And I love what annak said.

_________________
But on a cold winter night, when the wind whispers through the trees and a bright, white moon hangs heavy in the air, you might hear a sad cry like someone thinking he knows what's best for you, and that'll be the white man a-passin' you by. just mumbles


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Adopt?
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 8:56 pm 
***LIES!!!***
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2012 4:10 pm
Posts: 3427
choirqueer wrote:
Ariann wrote:
A friend of mine is a social worker who does adoptions and she tells really depressing stories about people (of all races) who are willing to adopt African babies, but not perfectly healthy black American babies.


What is the deal with that? I mean, do they say why? I would be really interested to know what people's reasoning behind this is, since it doesn't make any sense at all to me.


It's about the "look" - Africans are considered beautiful, American blacks are considered unattractive.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Adopt?
PostPosted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 11:52 pm 
Nooch of Earl
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:18 pm
Posts: 3377
Location: Bella Napoli
I don't know if this is the dead thread to revive, but I thought this article was really fascinating.

http://www.reuters.com/investigates/ado ... icle/part1

Reading this article I am saddened and horrified. As one person noted on the fb posting of this where I saw it, this article doesn't even delve into the obvious: there is a huge potential here for sex trafficking. And reading some of the individual posts (click on the little people icons in the interactive part), I am left very confused by the whole thing: some of these posters seem to have very strange ideas about how children behave and are motivated. Some of them I am reading over and thinking, is there more to this story because that could be MY toddler!! Eg:

Quote:
We didn't even realize what was going on until she was 3.5 almost 4. She constantly is pushing our buttons and I am her biggest target, which is the case for kids with attachment issues/disorder. She has intentionally peed in our house, pooped, hurts our animals, destructs our house. I have to have her in my sight every waking moment and it's exhausting. And I resent her. I have huge walls up at this time because I've been through so much in the past year caring for my ailing parents, who have both since died. I'm tired of always having a huge project in front of me and wonder how long I can continue to parent her. We've had wonderful periods, but I'm tired of the two steps forward, three steps back. I had NO idea raising an adopted child would be SO HARD.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Adopt?
PostPosted: Tue Sep 10, 2013 8:42 am 
Heeeerrrrree's JACKY!
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:39 pm
Posts: 3599
Location: the Eug
Well, as an adult adoptee, I have an opinion.
Adoption is great. BUT... be sure you are doing it for reasons that will invite the adoptee to be fully part of the family. If you adopt, take at least a full year of family counseling with a counselor who specializes in adoption issues.
People forget that adoption is not over when the papers are signed. The child will have questions (and if you are thinking of hiding it from the child, let me tell you, it never ends well) all of their lives.
And seriously consider giving an older child a forever home. They need it. (I won't get into internationals adoptions, as they are lengthy discussions).
I do a lot of work with teen and adult adoptees.

_________________
Don't mind my breasts and vagina, I'm a gay man.---Idatetatooedguys.

"Tots: the universal food band-aid... better than a mother's kiss. Healin' wounds since 1954." Meggs


Top
 Profile WWW  
 
 Post subject: Re: Adopt?
PostPosted: Tue Sep 10, 2013 11:34 am 
Writes Vegan Haiku
User avatar
Offline

Joined: Sat Jan 28, 2012 11:00 am
Posts: 33
Thanks for bumping this thread...my husband and I are seriously starting to discuss adoption - and the possibility of adopting an older child is something I think about often.
Annak thanks for that link! I'm still processing how that article made me feel - I never had really thought/known about this "re-homing" of adopted children, makes me so sad.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic  [ 22 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: strawberryrock and 4 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
Template made by DEVPPL/ThatBigForum and fancied up by What Cheer