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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Dec 05, 2013 3:48 pm 
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My husband made a funny mouth sound.
Malka: What you eating, daddy?
Daddy: I'm not eating anything, I'm just clearing my throat.
Malka: Daddy, what you eating???
Daddy: I'm not eating.
Malka: You eating your booger, Daddy?

This morning, leaving the house in a very thick cloud of fog. Malka has been very resistant to getting dressed, going outside, etc. She steps onto the front stoop and stops short.
Malka: Mama, it is DARK outside!
I know sweetie, it's fog.
Malka: No, Mama, is dark. We need to go to bed!


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Dec 07, 2013 11:03 pm 
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Walking through the lingerie section of Target the other day when poopieboy stops to rub a bra: "Oh! I love these things! They're for boobs!"

The woman a few feet away laughed so hard she had to wipe away a tear.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Dec 07, 2013 11:07 pm 
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that's SO great! I would have died laughing, too!

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Dec 09, 2013 10:15 pm 
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Nooch of Earl
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Oh Poopieboy!!!! <3


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 2:17 am 
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Yessssssss. Learnin' it from the best.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 9:12 am 
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I told a 4 year old he had a good arm when he threw something REALLY wildly. And then he YELLED: it's because I ate a LOT of food today!

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You know what would probably be a more effective ritual? Telling the person who you want to shut up, "You better not talk or we'll pound you." -Footface


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 10:25 am 
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My car keys have a "panic button" that sets off my car alarm, and its right next to the "unlock" button. So I often press the "panic" button when I mean to unlock the car. I hadn't realized how often though, until Leela heard a car alarm go off and yelled "MAMA PRESS WRONG BUTTON!!!!"

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 7:01 pm 
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Iz was mumbling to himself, and I caught a little snippet where he was saying, "quatre, cinq, Sieben, quatre, cinq, Sieben." I think he was trying to count legos. Pretty sure he had no idea which numbers he was saying!

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 8:19 pm 
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It's time for us to start censoring our language. My 18 month old says fork ALL the time. The funny thing is she uses it appropriately, like if she trips and falls or if she's frustrated. We need to start saying "oops" instead.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 8:21 pm 
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mooo wrote:
It's time for us to start censoring our language. My 18 month old says fork ALL the time. The funny thing is she uses it appropriately, like if she trips and falls or if she's frustrated. We need to start saying "oops" instead.


Oh my god, this makes me love her even more.

But also maybe not the best when it's time for school.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 9:14 pm 
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We tried censoring and we just couldn't do it, so now we're trying to teach poopieboy about "at home" words and "in public" words. Because he has the mouth of a sailor. The other day mr. poopie took him out to Starbucks and they messed up his order. The finally got it right, but once they got out to the car poopieboy said "daddy, they forked up our drink!" Oh dear.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Dec 17, 2013 5:07 pm 
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sashi wrote:
When they do any sort of art work at preschool they always ask the kids what they are drawing/painting/etc and write it on the paper. Last week there was a picture that Ada drew and it was labeled "a picture". Today when I dropped her off I looked at her leaf project (gluing leaves they brought in on paper) and it was labeled "a pile of leaves". It's just funny because all of the other drawings and projects from the other kids have really random stuff written on them.


My mother picks my 3-year-old daughter up from school when I'm working and they do all kinds of grandma stuff like playing mah-jong and knit. Daughter came home from school last week with a drawing that looked like a giant grid with a million boxes and she'd scribbled in the boxes. At the top it said "I'm making the game grandma plays in the newspaper." She drew a sudoku game!


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Dec 17, 2013 8:04 pm 
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M (almost 2) is learning how to use the word "I" instead of referring to himself in the third person all the time. He has a couple of stock phrases he's added using "I".

One of them is "not now, I am cooking."

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Dec 17, 2013 8:15 pm 
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Today Walter noticed he could see his breath when we were outside and said, "Fire is coming out of me!"

I love listening to him figure out language. The other day he told me his teacher "plugged out" the lamp (meaning she unplugged it), which makes total sense because "plug out" is the opposite of "plug in." Another interesting one was when he didn't know the word for the noisemakers at his birthday party, he called them "those noisy blowing out straight things." He is getting so good at communicating and it's fascinating to witness!


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2013 1:35 pm 
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poopiebitch wrote:
We tried censoring and we just couldn't do it, so now we're trying to teach poopieboy about "at home" words and "in public" words. Because he has the mouth of a sailor. The other day mr. poopie took him out to Starbucks and they messed up his order. The finally got it right, but once they got out to the car poopieboy said "daddy, they forked up our drink!" Oh dear.



I kind of love this.

Violet has, remarkably, not picked up our (literal) sailor talk. Though she did horrify my MIL by saying "butt" at dinner once. (I think I posted this somewhere but she asked what a napkin was for, I said wiping, she grabbed it, reached back, and said "wipe..zuh butt!" It was hilarious, but apparently the woman who gave birth to my frequently swearing husband thinks butt is a bad word. I'll be glad if that's the worst she says!!


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Dec 22, 2013 9:26 am 
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My friend's kid (I think he's 4) just learned the word "palindrome". He is going around singing "palindrome, oh palindrome" it to the tune of "O Tannenbaum".

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2013 4:05 am 
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My shoulders are on the other side of the street!

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2013 11:08 am 
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BG learned to spell pandemonium. He won't believe that it's the gas that pandas are made from.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 8:28 am 
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BG last nast night: "Manky, manky, wanky, wanky!"


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Tue Jan 07, 2014 12:21 pm 
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E (4) was crying about something yesterday and M (almost 2) toddles up to him, pats him on the back and says: "I know, E. I know. Life is hard."

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Thu Jan 09, 2014 1:35 pm 
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coldandsleepy wrote:
E (4) was crying about something yesterday and M (almost 2) toddles up to him, pats him on the back and says: "I know, E. I know. Life is hard."

Love this so much!

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i would schmear marmite on a moist scrotum for Mars. - interrobang?!
"Not everything." ~ mumbles (1973-2013) - mumbles


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jan 09, 2014 1:57 pm 
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FootFace wrote:
chompy7: I have a new name for McCloud! {one of our cats; chompy is always coming with new names for our cats}

Me: What is it?

chompy7: Joel!

Hysterical laughing.


I know I am late to the game, but this is forking hilarious.

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 1:17 am 
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I love that Leela communicates so clearly these days. We have been mentioning that I maybe pregnant in front of her, so now she is really into saying "Mama prenant!" And talking about what it was like when she lived in my tummy, and she pretends to go back into my tummy and then I have to carry her around under my shirt while she punches the air. Its hilarious. And she keeps going on about how much she loves babies and that she wants a real one to play with.

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My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 1:45 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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poopiebitch wrote:
We tried censoring and we just couldn't do it, so now we're trying to teach poopieboy about "at home" words and "in public" words. Because he has the mouth of a sailor. The other day mr. poopie took him out to Starbucks and they messed up his order. The finally got it right, but once they got out to the car poopieboy said "daddy, they forked up our drink!" Oh dear.

I told Beetroot there is this thing called The Parent Game that nobody talks about (and if you ask about it, you not only lose the game, but everyone will deny it exists), but that other parents and adults silently judge parents based on their children's behaviour and that he has to be a nice person in public and also not say certain words so we can win the game and not lose.

I did a similar thing called The Santa Game because we don't celebrate Christmas and I didn't want him to spoil it for anyone else and so we wouldn't have any awkward moments when people asked him about Santa. I said they are all playing The Santa Game and that they will try to trick him by asking about Christmas and he has to make up an answer without revealing that Santa doesn't really exist.
On Christmas Day, Beety came into the living room and asked, "Crabby, did Santa come?"
"Uh, no."
He rolls his eyes at me. "Uh, Crabby? The Santa Game. You lose."

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 Post subject: Re: Kids say the darnedest things
PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 12:04 pm 
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Oh my goodness, I love the Santa game. That is brilliant.


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