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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 11:13 pm 
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It's too late or i'd suggest putting one of your back seats down (assuming the kid is in the other one) so the AC could reach the trunk and help keep the cake cook. In the future!

I'm grateful that my wallet wasn't stolen and that lady showed it to me because if not, I would've had to drive all the way back across town, panicking, and sans groceries which would've made it way worse. And obviously driving while hyperventilating is not a good idea.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 11:21 pm 
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mrsbadmouth wrote:
It's too late or i'd suggest putting one of your back seats down (assuming the kid is in the other one) so the AC could reach the trunk and help keep the cake cook. In the future!

Holy shiitake, I actually did this! I never think of stuff like that, but I was cooling the car down before loading up the cake when it occurred to me and I was like "duh." You're so smart.

And everything was fine and the cake was fine and I'm fine. Of course.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 4:10 am 
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MBM, that totally does suck. I get like that too and the more panicked I get the less likely I am to find it but I am overwhelmed by the feeling that I NEED to find it and keep going with just encourages the panic feeling when I don't find it. I got this way lately over a damn loyalty card for a shop. I was only buying €4 worth of milk and veg. It wasn't like I was going to gain much from it but I was so panicked about not being able to find it that I couldn't find it. I found it the next day absolutely fine in my bag in one of the places that I had checked already.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 4:41 pm 
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Although I have generalized anxiety about a lot of things, my anxiety is most focused on social interactions. It's really difficult for me to make friends (both the anxiety and the fact that I'm also a huge bisque, or at least perceive myself that way) or to be in a group of people in general and in the past couple of years I've found myself losing a lot of friends and not really seeing those numbers bump up again. Of the group of friends I had three years ago: one moved away (we're still great friends but obviously the distance is not negligible), one stopped talking to me after she quit being vegan (pre-emptive strike?), one stopped talking to me because she lost her mind, and one is doing the suburban mommy thing- we're still friends and I love her (and her kids, and always will), but we don't get to spend as much time together and we don't have as much in common anymore.

Part of me is totally fine with just hanging out at home and socializing only with my dogs. But another part of me knows that's not normal and feels immense guilt and shame for it. I have a handful of people who I consider True Friends but they're literally scattered all over the world. I wish they all lived close to me, because that would be just so much easier than having to meet new people and deal with that anxiety and shame wrestling with each other all the time.

I've been mulling this over a lot lately, and I think it's tied in to the unusually severe episode of depression I had last week. I think it might be time to start seeing a therapist again and possibly even a psychiatrist about these issues. Of course, this has become more important since breaking up with my boyfriend yesterday. I am going to need to be majorly fortified before I can venture back out into the dating world again. At the very least, I'm going to have to unsubscribe from instagranniepants on Instagram.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 11:04 pm 
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People socialize with people who aren't their dogs? Weirdos.

I wouldn't feel guilty or shameful over it. A few years ago, when I had something resembling a social life, that was actually a fluke. I have been a hermit using a computer to make friends since 1995 and it's not like i'm proud of it, but I don't try to hide it either. I don't care if anyone thinks it's weird, they don't have to live my life and I don't have to live theirs. I also think it's a lot easier to stay at home when you live in a place that's all yours and that you enjoy.

I really hate committing to specific one-time events, like a party or an opening, because I don't know how i'm going to feel on that day and since it's one time, I feel like an asparagus for canceling. So I often get a lot of anxiety around those things, even if I think I will enjoy myself, so I usually just opt not to go. Also, money. We don't really go to the movies or sit down places, even though there are two places downtown with the word 'vegan' on the menu, because I always think "Ugh that's like $30. Let's just stay home and make tacos and watch Netflix."

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 1:13 am 
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Staying home with tacos and netflix sounds like a perfect evening.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 10:04 am 
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I'm sorry I'm not there, Erika. :(

For what it's worth, I don't think you need to feel shame or guilt. Different people need and want different things out of their social circles. For me, I've learned that while I don't always feel like going out or being social when my friends do (it's definitely harder to motivate myself to ride across town to meet up with people than it was to clock out and walk the 10 feet to the bar with you), it's been worth it to consciously build those relationships, so that I have people to call when I need it. That probably sounds bad, but I think I said that because thinking about what I wanted out of my new and current friendships has allowed me to make social decisions based on something other than a vague feeling of obligation or guilt or whatever. It's helped me to cultivate a few solid friendships here without spending a whole lot of time fulfilling social obligations that don't really further my goal or build real relationships. I hope that makes sense.

In closing, you're a strong, smart, capable, likeable, fun, talented, and interesting person who has a really good grasp on what you want out of life. Things feel lonely now because you've parted ways with a person who occupied a lot of your time and fulfilled a lot of your social needs, but your life will reconfigure itself to your new circumstances. Keep on with your bad self.

And we'll have a Facetime beer soon when forking goddamn comcast manages to hook up my internet (so, 2017 or thereabouts).

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 1:38 pm 
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My new job is giving me major anxiety. I've felt like I was panicking or about to for much of the day. The workspace is incredibly cramped, there's a building site behind a thin partition (it is possible to see sparks coming through), it's a brand new workplace and we're trying to establish procedures but then people aren't reading instructions and then it turns out they need to be changed anyway. There's one pc between several of us, I left 40 minutes later than I was due to because there's a time-consuming task that needs doing right at the end of the day and I didn't have opportunity to drink enough so now I have a dehydration headache.

Anyone got any tips for trying to calm down in circumstances with very limited control like this?

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 3:40 pm 
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It's so hard to deal with anxiety when it is external things that are contributing to it. I find if I reassure myself that it isn't a difficulty caused by me and that I can't be responsible for the way other people are or the environment around me then it helps me cope with it a bit better. My manager can be very stressed and chaotic and she is the type of person that when she gets stressed she isn't able to cope with it appropriately and transfers that stress on to others (usually me because I am closest). I've had to look at ways at dealing with it like trying not to be overly-responsible for how the unit runs and sticking as closely as possible to my share of the work. When I can I take a quick walk to remove myself from the situation when her stress is escalating. Not sure if any of that is any help to you but it might give you an idea of things that you might be able to work with for yourself.

Erika, I am a person who prefers to hang out with her dog than "real" people. I love coming home from work in the evenings and going on lengthy walks with her then camping out in front of the TV with my dinner. My friends circle has gone very small over the past few years but I'm taking it as a good thing.... I've had the opportunity to get rid of unhealthy friendships or the ones that had run their courses. Now when I meet with friends it is with the ones that matter most to me and because I want to. I get a lot more satisfaction than these infrequent get togethers than the frequent ones with people who didn't matter as much to me.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 3:48 pm 
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Thanks daisychain. For some reason I feel like I completely lost the plot earlier. I just felt totally trapped in what seemed an intolerable situation. In reality, it's not a great situation but it could be worse.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 10:18 pm 
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jordanpattern wrote:
In closing, you're a strong, smart, capable, likeable, fun, talented, and interesting person who has a really good grasp on what you want out of life. Things feel lonely now because you've parted ways with a person who occupied a lot of your time and fulfilled a lot of your social needs, but your life will reconfigure itself to your new circumstances. Keep on with your bad self.

Agreed!


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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2014 2:29 pm 
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Mannnn, my anxiety and perfectionist ways have actually worked in my favour. I've been super annoying at work and asking EVERYONE for input on a programme I am developing. It's gotten to the stage where I've reviewed the material for one session that I've completely stalled because I feel like it isn't up to scratch and isn't even ready for piloting so I approached one of the consultants and asked him for help so he asked for a copy of everything I have so far. This guy is a total perfectionist too. To the stage where you can actually visibly see him ruminating over something in his head.
He got back to me today. He said it is perfect as it is and not to change a thing. However............... he also wants to see the programme I have developed rolled out in the community also and he will be addressing it at a meeting next week and asked for me to be at it.

Dudes, seriously, sometimes anxiety can actually rock. Like next to never but in this case it totally rocked.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2014 3:26 pm 
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Thanks, all. Re-reading my post, I see how it came across as shitty and judgmental and I really didn't mean for it to be that way. I'm sorry if anyone took that personally- I'm only reiterating how I feel 'not normal' for not socializing. Not that I would know 'normal' if it whacked me in the face!

I'm trying to make more of an effort to reach out to the friends I have now, make them aware of the situation, and hope I can slowly get to be more social through their social circles.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2014 7:13 pm 
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Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
Thanks, all. Re-reading my post, I see how it came across as shitty and judgmental and I really didn't mean for it to be that way. I'm sorry if anyone took that personally- I'm only reiterating how I feel 'not normal' for not socializing. Not that I would know 'normal' if it whacked me in the face!

I'm trying to make more of an effort to reach out to the friends I have now, make them aware of the situation, and hope I can slowly get to be more social through their social circles.


Erika, I can say that I did not take your post as being judgemental. I think all of us semi (or fully) antisocial sorts feel this way at one point or another. We are supposed to be social animals who thrive on interactions with other people and knowing that we are not what we are "supposed" to be can be hard to reconcile.

A large part of my social interactions are online. I get it.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2014 2:49 am 
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daisychain wrote:
Mannnn, my anxiety and perfectionist ways have actually worked in my favour. I've been super annoying at work and asking EVERYONE for input on a programme I am developing. It's gotten to the stage where I've reviewed the material for one session that I've completely stalled because I feel like it isn't up to scratch and isn't even ready for piloting so I approached one of the consultants and asked him for help so he asked for a copy of everything I have so far. This guy is a total perfectionist too. To the stage where you can actually visibly see him ruminating over something in his head.
He got back to me today. He said it is perfect as it is and not to change a thing. However............... he also wants to see the programme I have developed rolled out in the community also and he will be addressing it at a meeting next week and asked for me to be at it.

Dudes, seriously, sometimes anxiety can actually rock. Like next to never but in this case it totally rocked.

That is super, daisychain!

I also have a positive follow up to add. After I had a freak-out on Monday and asked the managers how I could get out of the job, in a not at all professional way because I felt like I just couldn't stand to be there, I tried to explain on Tuesday to my line manager that I'd felt like maybe I was having panic attacks and that I have issues with people invading my personal space and touching me without permission and being in cramped spaces. Bless her! she gave me loads of jobs that needed doing that don't involve being in the pokey space, and I think she explained why I'd been so off to the big bosses.

I feel a bit shamefaced about it but mostly I just feel relieved that it doesn't have to be completely hellish for 8 hours a day. I actually had an okay day yesterday.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 2:24 am 
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Got the news yesterday that the psychiatrist in an other area is willing to take me on as a patient and I should have an appointment very soon since I am on the staff.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 9:37 am 
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I have an extremely anxiety producing job this weekend and it's been keeping me up for the past couple of nights.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 1:27 pm 
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Massive hugs to you xxx

Gah! Spent the day on a stock shopping expedition in a busy city centre for HOURS today. When I go in on my own I am in there and generally have everything done in 30 mins. I know exactly what I need to do and where I need to go and exactly what it is I am getting there. She is such a chaotic and disorganised person that I had to be in the city centre for 4 bloody hours!!!!!! My anxiety levels are just not able to tolerate that. I know i got through it fine but still!!!! I nearly flooded the place with the amount of sweat that came out of me. I would have been able to handle it better if it wasn't at least complete disorganisation. She was 45 minutes later than we had planned on yesterday!

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 30, 2014 11:51 am 
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trying to think this thought 'think of today, not what could happen tomorrow'...lately my ocd & anxiety have me pretty nervous about trips, germs and everything in between.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 30, 2014 3:26 pm 
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Dying from Nooch Lung

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Hugs to you missmuffcake.

My anxiety levels were sky high today. The slightest thing was enough to set it off. I think it is a combination of things contributing to it..... my aunt's anniversary this week, I've to go to a meeting tomorrow and a consultant is going to say he wants the programme I devised rolled out in other areas and one specific area is the place I worked in last year that I was bullied in, I went in to a lot more detail than usual about my symptoms with the GP on Friday and the wait for an appointment with the new psychiatrist.

Oh and I have my period. So yay.... anxiety is kicking my butt.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Tue Jul 01, 2014 1:21 pm 
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Dying from Nooch Lung

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While my mood is great now and nearly back to my normal level my anxiety levels are still really high. I'm doubting everything I am doing so bad and am trying so hard to not seek reassurance constantly at work for fear of annoying my boss. Which isn't helped by the fact that she was a total grouchbag today. This anxiety thing is really making things hard at work for me. The past 2 weeks I've been getting a lot of positive feedback at work and people are actually starting to see that I am actually good at my job and of value but I still can't stop over-analysing everything I am working on and thinking it isn't good enough.

Hoping that my appointment with the psychiatrist comes through for next week because I need to know that I'm not completely losing it.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2014 9:24 am 
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Dying from Nooch Lung

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I moved one of my 2 nighttime doses to the afternoon. There was a good change in my anxiety levels for the day. I wasn't too tired either. Going to start taking it at lunch time every day now I think.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2014 8:10 pm 
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An anxiety funny:

I was waiting after camp for parents to pick up their kids, and my friend/co-teacher was hanging around because we were going for a drink afterward. Another teacher that I don't know as well was watching me, and said, 'You're anxious.' (Because I am an open book, and also because she says things that she probably should not say.) Before I could even say anything, my friend said, 'That's just how she is.' But in a really kind and knowing way, because...I am. It was a little sad, because I hate being that easy to read/people knowing how high strung I can be, but at the same time the way he said it was just as if it was a part of me that he knew and understood. No judgement. At least, in this case, my anxiety was not alienating.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2014 2:29 pm 
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Dying from Nooch Lung

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That is actually nice. You're state of mind was not only acknowledged but accepted and wasn't a big deal.

I finally got my appointment for my psychiatrist. Not for another two weeks. It's going to be so hard to get the time off because I am rostered on my own. I really hope they don't mind at work because there is noway I am leaving them know why. At least my mood is pretty ok. My anxiety is totally irrational though.

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 Post subject: Re: the ANXIETY thread
PostPosted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 10:21 am 
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Hi everyone. I have been afraid to read this thread and am kind of afraid to post in here, although I'm not sure why. I've never been clinically diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, always just thought of myself as somewhat neurotic, but lately, I'm realizing there's a bigger problem. I don't really want to get into it - maybe I will later - but it seems to be getting worse lately, and is making me scared and unhappy. My partner made an intake appointment for me at a local mental health center recently (because I was too anxious to make the call myself) but thinking about talking about what's affecting me is making me even more nervous. Anyway, I just want to connect to people who know what it feels like, so I thought I'd pop my head in here, even though just taking this step scares me. It sure is easier to pretend everything is hunky dory, but that's getting to be unsustainable. One of these days I'll get up the nerve to read through this thread. Hugs to everyone experiencing anxiety.

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